Beyond measures

[Brina423]

In two days my mom would be gone one year this morning I walked by a bag of jelly beans. And my tears and pain come down all at once and I cried out and run out the store the jelly beans was moms and my favorite esp the black ones every since o could remember we shared them and today I realized that mom. Won’t. Walk me down the aisle see my kids help me thru and give me advice I’m having anxiety depression and paying n pain all at once my soul aches my dad doesn’t understand my separation anxiety ugh I’m all alone n s*** hurtz so bad thank u for listening sorry bout misspelled words punctuation and missing. Words but eyes blurry for the tears are like tidal waves n I hurt who do I turn too ???

[chloe40 Administrator]

My heart goes out to you Brina, it really does. The pain and anguish you're suffering is heart breaking.

You describe classically what can happen when you least expect it, something out of the blue brings back memories and floods of tears. Your dear Mom's Anniversary is very much on your mind and I hope you will stay close to us here to help you through this.

If you aren't under your doctor for anxiety and depression, then please do go along, they can refer you to a bereavement counsellor or therapist.

Take good care of yourself Brina.

Chloe <3

[GoGo_JoJo]

You turn to anyone you can, friends, family, or like here, complete strangers who understand what you're feeling. Grief is hard, it's the hardest lesson life throws us. But, in time, as we learn ways to cope, we do get stronger.

You will feel your Mom with you in those special times in your future don't worry.

If you have a local church where you feel comfortable, it can be a good place to think about things.

Grief counselling, if available to you would be very useful.

The main thing is keep going, every day you get through you get a tiny bit stronger.

Separation anxiety is hard but, if you had it before this you may already have distraction techniques that worked before, they will work again. Talk to your Mom as if she were still here next to you, hear what she'd be telling you. You can get through this and come out OK.

[spykey]

Hi Brina

You’re not alone I can imagine it’s a difficult time for you at the moment, but there’s a lot of warmth coming directly to you at the moment! May your guardian Angel be with you and surround you with love 💕 and comfort and blessings upon you today and every day, and May you have many special memories of the time you spent with your Mum and May you know the strength of her spirit surround and support you when times are hard!

Take Good Care of yourself!

spykey

[Brina423]

I want to thank all of you today is the day my mom has been gone a year it’s so hard I just wanted to say thank u to all of u

[chloe40 Administrator]

You're more than welcome and you're always among friends here Brina423 <3

Take care little one.

Chloe

[Brina423 in reply to chloe40]

Chloe thank. U from the very first day u made me feel special

[chloe40 Administrator in reply to Brina423]

That's because you are special Brina, very special, never forget that <3

Chloe

[spykey]

Hi Brina how are you doing today? I know it’s difficult, but just wondered how you are actually doing today inside? I am sending you some healing prayers and blessings to you, I want to give you a big hug so I’m gonna do that from here and if you can reach out close your eyes and feel that hug I know it sounds weird & strange but I’ve done it before with a friend & it’s amazing how real it feels when you do it!

You are ‘Special Brina’, Unique, and I’m sure your Mum is with you watching over you today as she does every day, But today especially whilst you are celebrating her being your Mum! I know that it sounds strange for me to say you are celebrating her Brina, but your thoughts are concentrated more today, and she is proud of you as a daughter and the fact that you have gotten through this last year! Yes I know you’ve probably had some really rough & difficult days, but you got through & you’ve reached out to us and told us about her, that is celebrating her, I’m sure you’ve spent time thinking about her over the last year, that’s celebrating her! Every time you tell someone about her or think about her that’s celebrating her and her life.

I know it’s gonna sound strange but be proud of yourself, your Mum is proud of you every thought or word you have spoken about or to her is celebrating her!

Look After Yourself Brina

Blessings

Spykey

[Brina423 in reply to spykey]

Thank u sooo much yesterday was tough spent time crying and getting in touch with my soul my mom is a very. Wonderful beautiful lady. Her n my dad adopted me I was 3 yrs old. Mom was in her 50’s my dad as well their children was. Grown. With kids of their own and she said I was hers because she chose me and that made me feel so special yesterday was hard but I made moms. Favorite dinner pot roast and imma try to go forward n let mom rest but I can’t. Make promises thank u spykey

[Hidden]

I found writing to the Samaritans very helpful or you can go to see them or ring them up at any time and they hear all kinds of things and nothing's too silly for them.

Yesterday I burst out crying at the spice girls viva forever song as it had brought up all kinds of feelings of loss like getting bullied out of a job recently and it was like stirring up mud in a pond having that song on!

Back in 98 when it first came out I couldn't believe it was a spice girls song as its so sad.

It hurts though when you acknowledge what you've lost out on.

The anniversary of a death always brings up waves of grief and it's like an open wound.

[chloe40 Administrator in reply to Hidden]

Thanks for this Catgirl, good to remind others of the valuable service The Samaritans do.

Chloe

[Hidden in reply to chloe40]

I wrote to the Samaritan's to thank them for what they had done for me and in not giving me unhelpful advice like to ignore them which one of my friends had said hadn't meant to have been helpful and how some things you shouldn't and can't ignore and how what's trivial to one person isn't to another.

[Brina423 in reply to Hidden]

I tried to google the Samaritans I’m not sure who or what that is I’m in the United States I don’t think we have them.. thank u for asking the time out to read my post have a great day

[Hidden in reply to Brina423]

They are volunteers who listen to people who are in distress and are a British charity is why you haven't heard of them.

[Kathush]

Im so sorry for the loss of your mom. x