newly diagnosed hiv. who have i infected and how do i tell them??

[sammysam1337]

ok a month ago I was diagnosed stage 4 hiv/ aids. Now from what i have read it has taken between 6 to 10 years for me to reach stage 4, remember apart from a flu like syptom when you first get infected there are very few clues that you are ill untill stage four.

Now fortunately when aids first showed up, I was at an impressionable age and the thought of aids scared me to death. (the media was flooded with images of thin people dying horribly at the time) so I have, most of my life practiced SAFE SEX. Ok having said that

there is a girl whom I have loved,(from a distance) for many years. well without going into detail about 3 years ago we were at a party together and we had sex. but it was one of those where you rip each each others clothes off and safe sex is forgoten in the heat of the moment.(we have all been there I"m sure.) So how do i now tell the only person I have ever truly loved, the woman of my dreams, the one person I would never dream of hurting that I have given her HIV? because right now I would rather die than than have to see the look on her face when I tell her. aaaaaargh!!!! my life really sucks right now!!!

thanks all for comments and links sammysam1337

[Bluestar]

First of all how r u not sure that she gave it to u. U c u can't really tell. Even if u read that it take 10 to 6 years to become stage 4 everybody bodies is different. There is no easy way to tell someone you love that u gave them HIV. It just picking the right time and moment. But I feel that it is right for her to known or even go to a sexual health clinic to get tested before u jump in conclusion. That u infected her. Hope this does not sound to harsh for you.

Take care.

[Hidden]

Dear sammysam1337,

Sorry to hear of your dilemmas. Bluestar is right, it may be that you caught HIV from that person. Also unless you know they have been diagnosed positive, it's possible that she doesn't have it at all. We regularly see patients who have been in a long term relationship and only one is positive. If you have only had sex with her once, it's very unlikely she has caught it from you.

Whilst it may be better to speak to her yourself, Sexual Health / GUM clinics will be happy to contact your previous partners anonymously recommending they get tested.

Kind regards

[anotherway]

We offer a community support setting that is informal and relaxed and have been able to buddy with people and offer advice on HIV from our own personal experiences this approach can work, but it all depends upon the individual. I would recommend looking around your local area to see if a group like ours exists where you can discuss HIV issues in a non-judgemental environment whilst engaging in peer support. good luck