newly diagnosed stage 4HIv/aids, out of hospital, and into a nightmare

newly diagnosed stage 4HIv/aids, out of hospital, and into a nightmare

Well after thirty days in hospital (all 30 spent in isolation and 7 of those under close observation due to suicidal feelings ) the hospital have finaly seen fit to release me back into the wild. Due to the fact I was homeless when admited to hospital with stage 4 hiv (aids) the hospital have taken it upon themselves to book me into a hostel in central London, but get this the hostel is for alcoholics and people with substance abuse problems,I suffer from post traumatic stress disorder and aids. I have never been a drug addict and don"t drink alcohol. so here I am with a cd4 count of 11, meaning I have no immune system at all, in a hostel full street drinkers and drug addicts many of whom have Hep c, many of whom are carrying Tb.Maybe I"m being paranoid but having no imune system and this being my first day out of hospital since being diagnosed, you can understand how vulnerable I feel in this enviroment. To be totaly honest I think I might be better off in a tent in the woods. anyway at the moment I am undecided as to my next move. No matter what i shall endevour to keep blogging daily if possible.

once again thanks for the kind comments sammysam1337

4 Replies

  • Not sure what to say in any meaningfully helpful way as your situation is awful and multi problematic. I have HIV and recall that when I was at my lowest CD4 count that my mind and the ability to make good decisions was diminished but did start to make a recovery almost immediately when I went on Meds so if you are feeling a bit paranoid at the moment I think that is understandable. It can be a very difficult life if we as people have no good friends or family to turn to in these situation. Is this an option open to you?


    Found this link and though it may be useful to you i haven't had a good look around as of yet but some years ago when i was very ill I had heard of HIV retreats for a short term stay. Could be useful to you hopefully. matt x

  • my dear, please do not feel deranged,it does happen that at some point in life one can feel rejected and forgotten.but the source of strength starts with yourself.Just remember who you have been before all this and what you always wanted to be.Even a healthy person is not the happiest.But a determined one always survives.So be determined and do not feel any less better than anyone.Force your mind to focus and you will soon see your way through.That place is not for you and im glad you do not like at all. That is a positive start....

  • Being told you are HIV or AIDS is mind blowing. Well it blew mine away and I couldn't sleep for 3 weeks thinking I was going to die. 24 years later, I'm still here. Within 2 months of HIV, PCP an AIDS related pneumonia, CD4 bordering on nothing. I am really pleased that you are out of the hospital, if you have any worries about anything tell someone. There must be a social worker or housing worker, tell them you fears and that you need more security. If this hostel cannot provide you with what you want then you need another hostel. You really do have to use your voice and make yourself heard. This is your life not theirs so they need to work for you so please get in touch with anyone from the hospital and tell them what you want and need. All I can do is hope that you find your inner strength, you can raise your voice and get the rest of your life started. Good luck to you and if you can - let us/me this site know how you get on.

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