Son stuck in bed and not talking

[fireted13]

I'm a divorced concerned Dad. My ex recently told me of my son's issues. He is stuck in bed all day and not talking. You can sit next to him and talk to him with no response. He'll get up when everyone is asleep and cook something to eat. My ex diagnosed him with autism without getting him to Doctor.

Could this be autism or something else? I'm concerned about him slowly fading away mentally and recently physically. It's been a month now.

Thanks,

Concerned Dad

[Kastaka]

It sounds like he doesn't feel safe enough to be responsive when other people are around - is it possible to get him his own space, even just part of the house that nobody goes apart from predictable times to clean with clear signals that they're arriving, with access to food, water, and an Internet connection?

It sounds like he can do fairly complex things when he is sure nobody will bother him, so establishing safety may help him increase the range of things he's willing to do.

[Bee-bop]

Hi there,

I know things are different in the USA but, you could research autism and see how the traits fit your son. Do you still have contact with him? How long is it since you were together in a family and has he seen a specialist about his feelings? I am curious as to how old he is too as this can make a difference in behaviour. Did anything change just before he started to close down?

Regardless, I think that while they are coming out and taking care of themselves while people aren't around, is actually a huge positive. I agree with Kastaka that your son's current behaviours could be related to feeling safe. When my daughter is overwhelmed and therefore not feeling safe, she goes non verbal. In the past when at school and couldn't talk, I could sometimes get her to write things down, is this something you could try? The more people close in-the less the individual can feel safe. If it is autism, you can hopefully work with your son by asking questions about how much space they need-what feels safe and when to back off when they are able to express this. Sometimes, just sitting and being there and not talking can be helpful. Saying " I am here if you want to talk and it's ok if you don't want to" I know how hard that can feel to do but, it can be a "way back in" .

[Shalomyy]

Hi fireted13. How is your son doing? Could you give us more background info on your son ? Any updates. thank you. all the best!