I want to go back to school but I can't cope :(

[NotJim]

I'm studying for an MA in the UK. I'm the only one in my class studying from home. My tutors have to make arrangments to make sure there's a Zoom connection, so I'm like a robot in the classroom. I'm very aware this must be making things difficult for them, but they've been very nice. I study from home because living in my rented house and being away from my family during the pandemic is too much. People talking about C-19 triggers my anxiety, but I can't control my housemates discussions or if they watch TV, whereas at home I can avoid all that. I desperately want to move back to school and study happily but I don't know how to cope with the day to day living. I have panic attacks in supermarkets, I go non-verbal under intense stress. But I just want to appear normal and work alongside my colleagues. I feel isolated as the odd one out and hate being the one who people have to help and take pity on. Does anyone have advice on what I could do?

[Hidden]

Visualise yourself at school and doing well and doing the things you want to do - this way you are prepared and ready for school

[LHP118]

Everyone is, of course, unique. We have to remember this when we share - what may work for one person may not work for another.

For my child, walking and talking through the fears and doing a risk assessment of them have helped.

We looked at the statistics of their personal risk and mitigated these as much as we can. My child wears a mask when outside his class bubble, uses widely-available hand sanitiser but also carries own personal packs and does not use public transport either side of school. Socialising outside is school is only through remote means.

The above is based on 'Zones of Control'. We are in control of everything we do, but cannot control others .... so we minimise/remove the contact where we need to.

You are not alone in the way you think and act. Please consider yourself as... as normal as everyone else. We're all that bit different and, stupidly, work to hide the differences and conform. Sadly, the world needs to work on accepting people as they are - looks, ethnicity, origin, disabilities of any kind, beliefs, etc. and stop trying to put people in to slots and tribes. I should know - I am a multitude of minority aspects.

Connect yourself to a few close family members and/or friends and work through your fears together. Make sure they're all about the real facts though!

Good luck.

[NotJim in reply to LHP118]

Thank you for the lovely reply. I will try and take this on board. (I share your views about the putting people in to slots, glad i'm not the only one who feels strongly about that)

[Fuunycat]

Each person has to find their own way of doing things. Your university probably has societies etc and they might help you become more social online because everyone is online. I think therapy probably will help because anxiety shouldn't stop you from going out. Been there done that. It will get better

[NotJim in reply to Fuunycat]

Thank you so much for your reply. You have a good point thank you.

[Teundroup]

Hello,

I'm a new student eventhough I'am 54 years old I entered at the university for the first time in my life last September but 6 weeks after we had to stay home making it all trough Teams. I had the time to make some friends and notice some other adhd or other peculiar student in my classroom. Very often, there are at least 2 or 3 people with adhd in a classroom who may work like you. For me they became new friends and co-learners as well, despite learning from home may not suit so well to adhd, we do our best to help each other. We keep in touch all day long, talkinf about the school topics but not only, that helps to keep a human touch to this digital world. Would you have that kind of peers in you classroom?

In Belgium, we can benefit of help trough reasonnable accommodation at school. I guess there is the same where you study. For example, I will have 1/3 time extra for the next exams.

I wish you all the best for you studied

Best regards

[NotJim in reply to Teundroup]

Thanks for your comment. It's great to hear how you've found the positives in your experience, and yes! I have a classmate with ADHD, our class is small and we have a group chat online for in between studies. I don't have much contact with them, i'm quite shy but I have to contact for work, which is about enough for me. My tutors have told me when I come back they'll be making some arrangments to help me out if I should struggle a bit more. At the moment i'm now hoping to take the step to go back in January, God willing