My whole life, I've only tried to talk about my MH issus with my parents a few times, but each time they either ignore me or get annoyed with me. It makes me so sad that I can't talk about it with them.
When I was a young child, I was never given any help or support with my MH, and had no idea what was going on as I was a child. I was bullied etc. and started suffering with depression. I left the family home aged 19.
Because of all of the above, I've never told anyone about my MH struggles (only my parents and medical staff know), because I'm so scared it'll make life worse if other people know. I tried therapy with two different therapists but didn't click with them, so couldn't open up. I have no siblings or close friends. I've never fitted in or belonged anywhere. I feel so alone with all this.
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IRanSoFarAway
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The success of counselling/therapy can often be influenced by whether you can click with the counsellor/therapist, of course. Having the time to talk about how you are feeling, and what is going on for you mentally and emotionally can be a very good release, as you get to vocalise some of everything inside. Sometimes simply putting words to these things can help us understand them and get a bit of a better perspective on what's going on for us.
The thing with mental health is that unlike a broken leg or a bad cold, people don't often notice you're suffering with something. I've had more than 10 years of living with various mental health issues and trying to treat and manage them and one of the biggest things I have ever learnt from both mine and other people's experiences is that it's much harder to work through them all on your own. Things like depression and anxiety (for examples), also tend to make us feel like it would be better that we keep what we're dealing with to ourselves, that we shouldn't be burdening other people with our problems. We hear all the What Ifs, like "what if they let me down?" "What if they think less of me?" "What if I make them unhappy?" What if i'm being selfish?", and so on. But, it is far far better to override those mental responses and let yourself speak to someone. Otherwise those what ifs, and shoulds and oughts, and not worth its, turn into a gag. I don't think there is anyone who stayed quiet about their mental health problems has benefitted from it. There is no service or medical authoritiy that will recommend keeping quiet, keeping your head down and pushing on, as a good, healthy way of managing and looking after our mental health.
It certainly can feel very scary speaking about what's going on for us. It is putting ourselves out there and makes us feel vulnerable, but the potential rewards are so much worth that little push that it takes. Sometimes we do have to persist to find the right person to listen, but when you do, it can do us the world of good.
If you feel able, I would suggest continuing to seek out a counsellor who can help you work through what you're dealing with. There will likely be various services available in the area you live in, (these can be free or private, I've even been to a church run service which relied on small donations and who were very friendly). There are also free online services, such as IESO counselling, ( iesohealth.com/ ) which also offer non-face to face meetings as well (such as typing or over the phone).
There are also helplines where you can chat to someone over the phone. Samaritans for example offer a helpline where you can talk to someone about whatever is troubling you, no matter if it's big or small. I know they're often thought of as a crisis line, but actually they have a listening service for any issues - samaritans.org/how-we-can-h...
I hope these things can come in useful. And I know things can feel terrible, especially when we're hitting what feels like an all-time-low, but life also has a way of surprising us in good ways we don't ever expect and those golden moments are always worth looking out for.
Hey NotJim, thank you so much for your detailed and throughtful reply. I am working my way through your links. I appreciate the time and effort you put in and it made me smile to see someone had responded. I'm not used to that 🙂. I am thinking of trying to find another therapist, hopefully one who specialises in autism as I think that would help things gel better. I agree with your comments on physical v mental health. When I broke my arm, my parents could see that and responded very differently to anything related to mental health. How do you find this community? I've not been a member long but thought I'd give it a go. Thank you so much for your reply x
I'm really glad the answer was helpful for you I think the community here is a good way of talking to people about shared experiences and getting some advice based on those experiences. It's a good resource I think, and a nice idea. Your idea of seeing someone who specialises in autism sounds like a good route to try, I hope you find someone really good!
I’ve tried to read self help books. Something you might want to try. But I struggle with mh myself
Thank you NotJim, that's nice to hear this community is a helpful place 🙂. Hope you've had a good day x
Hey Vonus, how's it going? Thank you for your message. I've read a couple of self-help books by Tony Attwood, which were very helpful, as he specliaises in autism, and am just reading "The Asperkid's Secret Book of Social Rules" by Jennifer Cook, which I wish I'd read a long time ago! Can you recommened any that helped you? x
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I think the community here is a good way of talking to people about shared experiences and getting some advice based on those experiences. It's a good resource I think, and a nice idea. Your idea of seeing someone who specialises in autism sounds like a good route to try, I hope you find someone really good!
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