3 weeks ago I really felt that there wasn't a point to living. Luckily my pooch jumped on my knee and licked me to death, my 16 yr old daughter went through a 'boy crisis' and if I could have kicked myself I would have!!
One of my lovely carers asked me if I had Ataxia. She had a client in the past who had exactly the same problems I was having with hand spasms and tremors. I hadn't even heard of it. I never investigate illness on the web as I have had some really wierd and wonderful symptoms over the past which have never been allocated to a particular condition. This time I did. I got straight on to the doc and have had blood tests, I'm going for the results on Wednesday and if she doesn't offer to refer me to a Neurologist I'm going to insist on it. I got a bit down the other day and my other carer suggested I look for support sites to see whether my symptoms really did match others and found this. I've also joined another site in the US.
I've read past blogs and questions over the last few days and I can't believe why I haven't been tested for this over 20 years ago!! I was tested for MS but that was 'inconclusive'. Everything from being asked if I was drunk at 10 in the morning by the local grocer, misjudging steps, falling up and down stairs, walking into hedges and walls as if they were magnetised, throwing a meal across the floor in frustration after a friend offered to feed me, right down to jaw snapping when falling asleep, (something the Speech Therapist hadn't even heard of), all of it is here!!
I'm now at the stage where the hand spasms are constant, walking .around the house is getting more painful, I can't write or sign my name (a bit embarrassing with Tesco deliveries), I get really tired, and days when I'm better off and safer in bed to be honest.
At least I now know that I haven't been going mental all these years, these things did and do happen, I haven't imagined them and I'm not a neurotic hypochondriac - THANK YOU ALL - the courage you've all shown in your candid Blogs and Questions have been a Godsend to me.