Today I was lucky to have a meeting with a psychiatrist regarding my postnatal period from over 6 years ago. This has been beyond helpful and I’m so grateful for finding APP .
At the time after my child was born I felt my symptoms were dismissed and classed as baby blues. Today I heard it was likely postpartum psychosis. I feel a sense of relief and knowing it was not my fault as I have carried so much guilt and self loathing about it. Now I can understand I was unwell with a likely mental/ mood disorder and that it was an illness. It has given me confidence to understand what happened and to not be ashamed anymore.
sending so much love to all those who are going or have been through this ❤️
Written by
Tinks24
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It's so good to hear your update, and to hear that you have had such a helpful meeting with a psychiatrist to give you a retrospective diagnosis. It is so sad that you have had to struggle with the feelings of guilt and self loathing for so long because you didn't get support, and that it wasn't recognised that you were actually really mentally poorly. I really hope that this can be a step to healing for you.
Don't hesitate to get in touch with us for more peer support if you'd find that helpful, for example we have peer support groups where people share about their experiences, and also peer support volunteers that are able to offer one to one peer support too. There's more information here:
sometimes it is like a maze and you wonder where you are. It is like a puzzle, where you try to make sense of each piece reflecting your lived experience. In time more and more is clarified, especially when curious.
I have been protected by my partner for many years. The medical file disclosed how poorly I was and what traumatic experiences I went through, because of no awareness of PPP, misdiagnosis and "unreasonable behaviour".
"Guilt and self loathing" is a difficult one and always thrown at us, especially when we continue to struggle with our MH. I am pleased you've gained more confidence. Self reflection, acceptance and therapeutic avenues help to ease the pain and contributes to further healing.
I'm so glad you have had this meeting. It must feel so validating, and so helpful in finding some answers and hopefully some peace after all this time and uncertainty.
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