It’s my first time on here. I suffered prepartum psychosis before my daughters arrival in November last year and spend time in an MBU. I am now approaching a year since this happened.
I have recently come off olanzapine (this was tapered down over the past nearly year to a small dose of 2.5mg) but I’m having difficulty sleeping. I think that it is more psychological than coming off the meds (since it was such a small dose I doubt it was helping much with my sleep). I’m worried that I’m becoming unwell again as not sleeping was one of the big signs something wasn’t right. But there were obviously many other signs which are not there now. So logically I can understand that I’m not unwell but at night I worry.
I have been off the meds for a week and have reached out to my psychiatrist. She has told me to go back on the 2.5mg dose which I did last night but still didn’t sleep well. I also have an appointment in with her but not for a few weeks
My daughter has started nursery but I’m not yet back at work and I think part of the problem is I have too much time on my hands to worry about things. I forced myself to go for a run today and will try to do some excercise each day to wear myself out a bit.
Any advice or words of wisdom especially as I approach a year since the psychosis?
Thank you!
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Newmumhere
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Welcome to the forum 😊 I hope you’ll find lots of support and helpful information here.
I’m sorry to read that you experienced psychosis in the lead up to your baby’s birth last year, it’s good to hear that you were cared for in an MBU. It’s such a lot to go through and not the start to motherhood that any of us expects. I had PP back in 2012 after my first son was born, it was such a shock.
I’m so glad you’ve reached out to us here, I’m sure a lot of us will relate to how you’re feeling at the moment. It’s great you’ve already reached out to your psychiatrist too.
Lack of sleep was definitely a major factor for me in becoming unwell with PP. Since then, I go through periods of struggling with sleep from time to time, especially when feeling stressed or worrying about things. It quickly becomes a vicious cycle for me – knowing I need sleep and then worrying about it and that preventing me from being able to drop off. After experiencing PP, any lack of sleep worried me hugely – I’m sure that’ll be the same for a lot of us – I really didn’t trust my brain and worried a lot that I’d make myself unwell again. But as you’ve said, there were more factors involved than lack of sleep when I had PP, and as time has gone on and I’ve been through more of these periods without becoming unwell, I can feel more reassured that I’ll be ok. That being said, not being able to sleep is never a good thing!
Keeping active is a great thing to try, I do notice I struggle more when I’ve not been out all day and it starts getting harder this time of year with the nights drawing in (though I could definitely stay in bed longer in the darker mornings!). Finding ways to improve ‘sleep hygiene’ and general habits around sleep are also really beneficial. There are lots of helpful tips online, including on the NHS website here - nhs.uk/every-mind-matters/m...
I think any kind of change can feel quite unsettling – I felt like coming off medication was a big step, and the start of nursery is a big thing too 😊 If you’re feeling concerned, especially about becoming unwell again, it’s absolutely the right thing to seek help early so it’s great you’ve done that and will be speaking to your psychiatrist in a few weeks. In the meantime, I hope you will find some shared experiences here helpful and reassuring.
Thank you so much for reaching out which takes courage. I’m sorry you are feeling worried and low at the moment. I wonder if BBC’s Headroom at bbc.co.uk/headroom might be helpful? It’s a mental health toolkit with ideas for sleep with meditation and music. There are also wellbeing podcasts too.
I had PP many years ago and found APP a lifeline to feeling better about myself.
I’ll leave it here for now as my connection keeps fading and it’s my second attempt at replying. 😊
We are all here to support you ... thanks for writing.
Thank you Lilybeth I will take a look at that. And thankfully I managed to get some quality sleep last night which was great. Thanks again for replying. x
So happy to hear you managed to some quality sleep last night. Be gentle with yourself today .... there’s a lot of lovely support for you here. PP mums are amazing!! x
I just wanted to reach out and reassure you you are in the best place for compassionate and helpful advice.
I had postpartum psychosis in 2021 since then I suffered from OCD and that affected sleep. I find regular exercise really helps.
I have a few mantras that I would like to share that have helped me over the years, but I am not an expert - “walk, talk, eat, drink (water), sleep” these are the fundamentals I use to keep well.
I walk in the mornings, I talk a lot to whoever will listen LOL, including social media and my notebooks, I try to eat foods that satisfy me, I drink lots of water because dehydration and hunger previously led to headaches for me, which led to intrusive thoughts about the meaning behind my headaches. I also find my moods are determined by my quality of sleep.
Another thing that I find helped me was to journal before bed, just getting thoughts out of my head and even managing overwhelming thoughts and todos let me sleep better.
Another mantra I try to use is if your thought starts with “what if” then it is intrusive and the outcome is definitely uncertain.
Another in one is “this too shall pass”, sometimes our anxiety feels really overwhelming, but it’s just a thought they are like clouds, In the sky, moving and constantly evolving, it is the power we give to the thoughts that makes things harder.
I’m not sure if I’ve helped or just waffled but my moods have been low this past couple of weeks and today I followed my own advice and have felt better, and slept well!
Thank you Tara this is all really helpful. And I love the phrase “this to shall pass” I haven’t thought about that for a while but it is so reassuring. A better night of sleep last night which is encouraging and I’m going to force myself to go for a swim today to help tire me out again! Thank you again for your reply. X
I had PP after the birth of my Bub in October last year, so also coming up to 1 year. First birthdays soon, eek.
I also have moments where I worry, if I have a strange thought or if I am super anxious and can’t sleep. I think it’s natural to have worries about it happening again. It’s a super traumatic thing to go through and I do think the worrying will be part of it for a while, until you gain that self confidence and trust in yourself back.
In saying that, you know yourself and if you feel you are getting ill you have now that support should you need it so you are in good hands.
It’s a bit of a journey isn’t it. I’ve only started to come out of quite a bad depressive episode following the PP.
Also sleep wise, not sure if this is your thing but I have had success listening to the sleep meditation sound tracks on the free app called insight timer which has loads of free mindfulness sessions/meditations/yoga etc!
Thanks Kiwi-girl32 I’ll check out insight timer too. I’ve always used Breethe but open to trying something else. I’m guessing you’re a Kiwi/New Zealander if so so am I! X
I thought so as you had said you were in a MBU. I have been living back in NZ for nearly 3 years but was in Australia for 6 years and lived in Scotland for a little bit before that! We didn’t have a MBU for me to go to unfortunately
Thanks so much for sharing your story. Sorry to hear you’ve been struggling lately.
I can completely relate to those feelings, I definitely used to worry if I couldn’t sleep that I was getting ill again but I’m now much more confident that I am well and that lack of sleep is not necessarily a sign of being unwell especially when there are no other symptoms. So worrying is totally natural but then it becomes a bit of a vicious cycle.
The first anniversary can also be a really tough time, so please be gentle with yourself as it can be really tough emotionally. APP are running a well-being session on self-compassion and I think this could be really helpful, I’m hoping to join too. You can book on eventbrite, so sorry but it won’t let me paste the link for some reason.
I think exercise is a great idea, moving your body is so good for the mind.
Hoping you start feeling better soon, glad to hear you had some quality sleep last night.
I am also just coming up for a year after having PP. Not sure how you feel but I have found approaching the year has been filled with a lot of mixed emotions.
It definitely has been tough journey and I am only just recently starting to feel like me again and I still have ups and downs.
I came of olanzapine gradually and remember worrying a bit more when I reduced my dose completely as I was scared that I might become unwell again. I think you are definitely doing the right thing and talking to your psychiatrist about your worries.
Before I went back to work I found myself spending a lot of time worrying about things and overthinking. I would try to figure out if I had done something wrong to make myself Ill and think back to what I was like when I was in the MBU which wasn’t helpful. I definitely found that when I started back at work it made a big difference as I have less time to overthink things as much and I found it helped me getting a bit of the old me back. I’m not sure if you are going back to work soon or not but even trying to do something to try and keep yourself busy to try and stop yourself worrying about things might help?
I found going along to a mummy and baby buggy walk helpful. I am not sure if they have any in your area? I found just talking to other mums helped as it normalised a lot of my worries as sometimes I didn’t know if what I was feeling was a result of the psychosis or a normal mum worry. I also liked that it gave me company on a walk and could get some steps in as I find it so hard to exercise with a wee one.
Not sure if any of this is helpful. Hope you get some rest and just keep taking things a day at a time 😊
Thanks Mum123456, this is so helpful and really resonates with me. So I am going back to work but currently negotiating my return with my work and they have been slow. But I hope to be back at work in the next couple of weeks which I think will be really good for me as you say it will mean less time to worry and will be more of a return to “old me”. Thanks for your reply. X
I’m sorry to hear about your experiences before you had your baby but glad you were cared for in a mbu.
I had post partum psychosis back in 2016 with the birth of my daughter, unfortunately I didn’t get an mbu so was on a general mental health ward.
Seems like the last few days have improved including your sleep which is good.
I always find anniversaries hard even 7 years later. I had to stop social media showing me memories of that time as I found it hard to see what had been posted around that time. You can edit these in your settings to stop it showing you memories between certain dates.
Sometimes I still struggle to sleep, more if I wake in the night and then can’t get back to sleep. I find listening to a sleep story helps, calm is a good app but you do have to pay after a certain time period (I think)
Take care and stay on the forum for support. Also consider 1:1 peer support as I found it really helpful
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