Hi fellow mums,
It's Jo. Well I never recovered from ppp and I now live with a diagnosis of Bipolar Disorder. As such I've not been able to hold down a job and work for 20 years.
Are there any mums on here who years later are not back in work and at home? If so how do you occupy your time?
Good Morning JosephineFay,
how are you today? I have BP1 and have had PPP in 2010.
A journey of recovering from PPP and weaning off traditional meds after 1 year. My diagnosis of BP was in 2018. I am surfing the waves, hence why I am asking how you feel today. It is an ongoing cycling up and down and sometimes I surf the waves pretty well, with the odd plip in between, a low-not unhappiness nor any reason for dissatisfaction, just complete exhaustion as I am hyper for a long time and body needs to recharge. This is an ongoing cycle, hence why it requires a lot of discipline, especially when not on mood stabilisers or lithium. I use CBD.
My choices help me to be active and to keep my MH in check. How do you define work? I am busy every day with siestas in between and my preference is to be at home.
I follow my needs and keep to my own routine by listening carefully into my body. Reflect on your own needs and what you really want to do. Here I am talking about achievable goals in relation to your needs.
A spectrum of BP is multi-facet, and only in my case do I know that I can not be with too many people. Communication, concentration span and motivation depends on my moods. As such my routine and decission making for being active/work is orchestrated in the momentum. I do not do long term planning and whenever I pick up a project, it has to have a beginning and an end.
I am disciplined and do my Yoga usually every day including meditation once my big and little man leave the house. I am an artist and an allotmenteer and gardener at home. When super mind racing I focus on studying. Those acquired skills such as being an art therapist and reiki master do come handy & occassionally I do pick up some work in that field. However, those skills have been initially being developed in order to manage my chronical condition (self-healing, self-care).
It maybe worthwhile to look at Bipolar UK in the chat room as the topic employment comes up plenty of times.
Hope this helps a bit, look after yourself and always happy to private message/chat via APP.
x
Hi there,
Wanted to thank you for kindly getting in touch with your lovely comprehensive message. Was going to pm you but not sure how. Can you message me and then I can reply.
I will Josephine. x
Hi JosephineFay
I've been thinking back very much to the time my youngest daughter started school and I felt very much like you do now - I didn't feel resilient enough to work, but wanted to build a meaningful daily life. I've been doing some research for you this afternoon, thinking back to the support I had from an occupational therapist during this time.
Here are some useful resources around - 'what does it take to build a meaningful life?'
actionforhappiness.org/10-keys
ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) with lots of free resources actmindfully.com.au/about-act/
One of the most useful things I found at that time, and often return to - was using a bullet journal to plan my day with categories of activities that were meaningful to me. I used a different colour for different categories such as 'taking care of my body' or 'connecting with people' or 'learning something' or 'making something' or 'household jobs' and tried to make sure that each day had at least one thing from each category.
Naomi x
Hi there Naomi, I wanted to private message you but am not sure how to do it. Firstly thank you for kindly writing back to me with your suggestions which I will try. I am in a very low place at the moment not being able to explain my 8-10 years out of the work force due to battling Bipolar psychosis almost every two till four years. I would like to support the work of APP in the future and wondered how I would find out about any opportunities?
Hi Josephine - I'll drop you an email tomorrow morning. It would be great to share experiences, I'm so sorry to hear you're in a low place having been out of the workforce. I had some great support from a charity called Workways who supported me back into employment after a similar time away from work. Take things slowly and gently with yourself, and I often try to remember that 'success' and 'resilience' can come from many different things alongside (or even apart from) from paid employment. Warmly, Naomi
Looking forward to hearing about your journey back into employment Naomi. I'll look out for your message.
There are a number of Google hits for Workways. Do you have a web address? Interested to see what they offer
Hi JosephineFay and MotherOfBears
I've been doing a bit more research on the type of employment support I had from Workways (which was based in Exminster, Devon)
Workways provided employment coaching and IPS (individual placement & support). Last year the UK Government announced investment of over £120 million to provide IPS in many more regions.
It's worth Googling IPS in your own area or asking your GP/CMHT about what local provision there is to support people with longer term mental health difficulties into employment. Some services are based in primary care psychological therapy services, and some in community mental health services.
You can find out a bit more about IPS here ipsgrow.org.uk/resource/ips...
Naomi x
That’s amazing thanks for the research. It’s really tough to think about how to fit work around unpredictable mood episodes, and any help there is out there I would really value!
You're welcome lovely - did you find an IPS service in your area at all? Let me know if you need any help looking them up. N x
Hi Naomi, thank you we don't have workdays in Bedford. I think your job is working part time for APP is that right?
Hi Jo - yes I currently work part time for APP. I did find an IPS team in your area and it looks like you can email them directly - hope you can access some really good support from them. N x
Hello, I haven’t. Been a full time mum for 7/8 years. But since being on medication I managed to a part time relaxed adult course in agriculture and lots of placements. I could only do it because it was relaxed and had an ending. I have suspected PDA autism and it explains sooo much about my life from school refusal to work anxiety, not able to cope with power trips, demands. I may have lots of issues and diagnosis, but I honestly think I was meant to be a simple human, living on a farm, in the countryside, mothering children and living simply. I think for people like us with mental health issues or on the spectrum, the modern world is not built for us and all of these demands, living in a city, traffic, over whelming lights and cars, not being able to see greenery, only concrete. It’s not how we’re meant to be I think. (Obvs some people like it) I think we are having a reaction to our surroundings at times, as well as the mental health issues, it’s not a good combo.
I have about ten diagnosis’s and another suspected. I have recently changed to aripiprazole and i haven’t struggled with the hypomania, depression etc this month when I have PME near my period mixed with being on bipolar spectrum. It could be a fluke, but hopefully it’s a med that actually works for me. Perhaps your meds need tweaking or changing? I think a lot of people with bi polar can be stable with the right meds xxx
I’m looking into doing part time peer support work only from home. I was meant to have an interview for a part time role at a location and I froze, freaked out and couldn’t do it. I now realise my limits. Working from home part time could be the answer. Then I can earn some money, buy a support dog I so desperately want and need. I do struggle a bit to go out on my own further than the shops (I’m fine going out with family) and I absolutely love nature and woodlands, so to have a dog that needs taking there would really help me get out there. Could a plan similar to this help you? Maybe working for someone doing some admin or customer service a couple days a week from home if supporting another person was too much? Or even just starting with some volunteering a day week. Could you volunteer at your kids school to do some reading with kids? A charity shop? To be honest I find my self sitting at home on my phone a lot and it’s depressing. I hope I can manage some work soon from home, make my days have a bit more purpose Xx
Hi Isabella, I'm in the exact same situation as you. I'm looking for any type of part time work and I need some purpose too. I am highly qualified but can't seem to find anything. I've tried my local volunteer agency in Bedford but they don't have anything even our charity shops have waiting lists. I'm at a loss what to do.
That’s great you’re highly qualified! I’m not haha so it can be difficult. Have you been on indeed and put the location as bigger than your area for remote work? There may not be enough in your local area. People from London May even be willing to take you on, or other cities or counties a bit further out xx
Hi Isabella have been trying to find remote work and this has not come to anything. Lots of dodgy companies. Please do let me know if you come across any remote roles at all.
Hello JosephineFry, perhaps revisit the volunteer centre? And perhaps having a broader conversation around your skills and experience might open up other ideas? cvsbeds.org.uk/volunteer
They aim to act a bit like a matching service and try to find suitable volunteering roles for people of all backgrounds, skills and experience. I really believe there is a volunteering role for everyone, and sometimes a conversation with someone in a volunteer centre can make all the difference in finding a role. Good luck, and keep us posted if you find something.
Rachel x
Thank you Rachel xxx
Hi Isabella I hadn't contacted you re your reply. Thank you for it.
I had PPP last summer and a new diagnosis of bipolar. I am in ultra rapid cycling and have a mood episode every few weeks. The work I did before was very 9 to 5 and office based, and I can’t see a way - even the most understanding employer - I could go back to my old work. I am trying to figure out what work might look like for me. I have ambitions for my life and it feels hard to fit them around my current - and possibly forever - disability.
So far the only thing I can think of is a creator of some type, where there are no deadlines and no others relying on you being somewhere on a particular time. If I had an artistic talent that would be great but I was always more academic.
Not on the same subject sorry but it is so hard to plan anything not knowing what that day will be like. We’re engaged but can’t even book a date to get married as it might be in the middle of a mood episode
Hey MotherOfBears - I know this is a month after you posted, but I just wanted to say I recognise your worry about not knowing what each day/week will bring. I also had PP last summer, and was diagnosed with bipolar a few months ago. My partner and I have been engaged for 5 years but even now we’re thinking about just doing a small ceremony for us and the children I’m frightened to commit. I hope you’re able to find some stability soon 💜
It’s so hard isn’t it. I struggle as I don’t know in the future when I will be in a mood episode so I wouldn’t be able to pick a date in the future when I knew I was well. And the thought of getting married on one of my bad days is just awful.
Good morning Jo. It’s great to see you’ve had plenty of responses already to your question. This really is an excellent forum.
I was hospitalised for four months with PP after the birth of my daughter in 1997.
Because my dear other half was travelling a lot for work at the time we always planned that I would be a ‘stay at home mother’ until my daughter started at school. The plan was to get her settled into a routine and then pick up a suitable part time role to fit around her. There’s the rub! In the early 2000’s there weren’t many opportunities for part time working let alone fitting around school hours!
@I kept trying but never found a role that I felt comfortable with. My CV is now a long list of unrewarding part time and temporary roles in accounts, payroll, retail and even a school dinner lady) possibly the best job I held). One job in particular almost ended in litigation in the Public Sector. I signed a non-disclosure agreement so I’m not allowed to say any more about that one. I’ve never held a job for more than 3 years. I’ve never been promoted.
So now I’m in my late fifties without a job and only a very small occupational pension to look forward to. We’re managing to keep our heads above water, but only just. We still have a mortgage to pay as well as all the other living expenses that keep going up.
DH turned 60 this year and hopes to retire in the next 18 months. He’s bored at work and spends a significant part of his time composing spreadsheets budgeting our outgoings in fine detail. He’s very anxious about us not having enough income to live a good lifestyle in retirement. He deserves a good retirement. He’s been working full time since leaving college in the 80’s. He even had a couple of top up jobs when we were first married in 1989. Interest rates were up at 15% back then. It was costing us £600 per month for a £40k loan.
on the upside, our daughter did well at school and is now working from home (since the start of Covid) remotely for a company based in Norwich. We live in the North West so she had been based a long way from home. About a five hour drive.Her rent was extortionate in Norwich.(£575 per month for a room in a shared house). You can rent the whole house for that in the North although Norwich is a beautiful city.
I’m currently under the supervision of my Mental Health Team whilst my prescription is reviewed. I take Olanzapine (mood stabiliser and Venlafaxine (antidepressant) I also take a high dose of Omega 3 as we’re not big fish eaters. I would LOVE to be medication free.
I have a young trainee social worker visiting me once a month at home. We’re looking for ways for me to re-engage with society including perhaps some voluntary work to help refresh my cv for when I’m ready to look for my next role………
Hi there,
Thanks for your very comprehensive reply. As you are on Olanzapine and venlafaxine does this mean that after your experience of PPP you had an ongoing mental health diagnosis. My work experience has been the same. I am triggered by work place bullying and then I leave a much loved and wanted job and then I end up unemployed which I hate. I have nothing to do at all in the day time and have tried to find voluntary organisations which would give me some work experience so that i could use this to find work but alas living in a very small town there is absolutely nothing except for maybe the odd day at in a charity shop and literally the odd day. We seem to have a high number of unemployed and retired people so even getting in a charity shop is competitive. How do you spend your day? How do you occupy your time? My husband is 57 and not due to retire for at least ten years and I am only 51 and feel very much retired.
I am trying to work out how to inbox people have you any idea how I could do this?
Hi MrsJelly I just wanted to thank you for your reply too, and to empathise as much of my working life since PP in 2005 and 2011 has been patchy and when I returned to contracted work in the academic sector (2008) and NHS (2018-2021) it was really hard at times to manage stress levels and the demands of trying to effect culture change, support my staff with their own mental health and navigate the fluctuating energy of my bipolar disorder. Despite being nominated and completing an NHS Leadership Academy 6-month training it felt as though there were very different 'ceilings' in promotion for those with significant lived experience without a clinical qualification... A commitment to 'peer leadership' feels a long way off in many ways.
I'd be very interested in putting together some advice and links for support with employment, volunteering, occupational therapy towards building a meaningful life on our website - so please do feel free to get in touch with me naomi@app-network.org if you would like to be involved. Naomi (APP Campaigns & Policy)
Hence, why I suggested exchange of skills for all for the past few years, but no action has been taken so far. We are on the same wavelengths my friend. In addition I am grateful that my idea of BP support meetings have been put into practice. Thank you for setting it up...
Not related to the original post, sorry. But what dose of omega 3 do you take? I’ve just started taking it to wee how it goes
There are lots of opportunities for voluntary work I am currently finding out. It’s just a case of which agencies operate in you area. Perhaps you could try your local job-centre or library. Charity shops don’t appeal to me very much as they’re often staffed by elderly assistants. I want to work with younger people if I can find something suitable.
In answer to your question about how I fill my days. When depressed I sleep a lot and have no motivation to do anything. When I’m manic I keep jumping from one thing to another with very limited concentration.
I like to check in on this forum from time to time. Having a daughter, I want to be prepared to help her should she become psychotic herself at any stage in her life
I’m sorry, I’ve never used inbox on this site.. perhaps try one of the regular volunteers.
Thanks so much for your message. Hope I've not asked you this before but do you have an enduring mental health condition now. I do.
Yes Jo. I have Bipolar Disorder.
Hi Jo,I'm nearly 8 years since my pp episode and I've not been working since 2017 when returning to my job caused a relapse.
I've now been diagnosed with ADHD which explains some of the brain based challenges I experience. There could be bipolar going on too but I'm not certain. Maybe cyclothymia would explain it better as I don't have such extremes since my pp episode.
I'm doing ok but have always struggled with the idea of getting a job and the amount of pressure that could put me under. I volunteer for APP (loosely, not been so active lately!) And also for a local breastfeeding peer support service. I love it, it gives me such a huge buzz. It also gives me access to mums in the perinatal period which is what I'm really passionate about. And I talk openly about my experience of pp with them all to normalise it and to help them be aware of the symptoms etc.
I would love to get back into work but find the childcare juggle nearly impossible to imagine being able to solve. My son is autistic so that adds additional challenges.
I think it's so important that you work out what gives you joy and move towards doing that. Doesn't need to involve being paid for anything but sometimes if you put yourself in the right places things come your way?
I get my veg from a local organic farm and they're always looking for volunteers. You get a free bag of veg if you give up a few hours of your time.
Just some things I've tried or done. You have so much to offer though, your experience will help you to show empathy and kindness to others I'm sure in anything you choose to do.
Oh and also exercise is the thing that has given me the biggest self esteem boost. You could do a fundraiser for app or another charity you care about? Gives you a goal to work towards and help you feel like you've got purpose and drive.
Lots of love
Hazello xx
Watching your daughter go through this illness 
Angry at the way women are treated post partum
Anyone a mum of two with Bipolar who can share their experience?
