Second baby nerves

[Jlou84]

I'm due my second baby in a couple of weeks and am trying to prepare as much as possible but as the time creeps closer it's hard not to remember/relive elements of the psychosis and depression I had with my first. All be it 4.5 years ago it's still very fresh.Wondering how other second time mums managed any anxiety they felt prior to the birth?

[Rkmummy Volunteer]

Hi Jlou84,

Congratulations on your pregnancy.

Hope you are feeling ok with only a few weeks left to go.

I had pp back in 2016 with the birth of my daughter. I went on to have my son in 2020 with no recurrence of pp.

I had good support from a perinatal team- are you under one?

I also accessed app’s peer support service for my second pregnancy and this really helped to discuss all the little worries I had. Consider starting this - it might help.

We had lots of plans in place for after I gave birth- even in covid times! My husband taking some night feeds, making sure I got sleep, I also took medication after I gave birth as a preventative measure.

Talk about the worries you have and hopefully all will be well.

Good luck for the next few weeks.

Use the forum, lots of us had been in this position

Take care

RK

[Jlou84 in reply to Rkmummy]

Hi thanks for your reply, yes I am under the perinatal team. I've had so many appointments at times it's been fairly overwhelming but have been fine emotionally. I guess now it's just hitting home a bit more as the time gets closer. I'm on preventative medication and have opted for a home birth or midwifery led unit as hospitals are too triggering for me. That's reassuring you had a similar gap and no recurrence, I hope for the same but I guess it's the unknown that gets you.

Feeling okay just struggling to do day to day things now due to the size and weight of me, which can be a little frustrating but par for the course.

[Rkmummy Volunteer in reply to Jlou84]

Hi

Sometimes I felt worse after my appointments especially the ones where we had to go through in detail things that had happened, be kind to yourself,

I also had a home birth, as I gave birth during a pandemic I wanted to avoid hospitals too. Which I managed to do.

Last few weeks are hard, especially when you’ve already got a little one, do your best and take it easy

RK

[Cheryl-2021 Volunteer]

Hello Jlou84

Congratulations on baby number 2. Very exciting times ahead for you 🥰

I had PP in 2004 and my second baby in 2021. I totally understand your anxiety, it replayed in my head quite a lot as well. I found that making plans for if it did happen was helpful. Making lists of who I would want to visit was a prime one for me, and making sure they take my phone away from me. I didn't experience PP again but talking to family and friends about my worries certainly helped, as I felt better prepared incase it did happen. I also made sure my husband was on board with all the night feeds in the first few weeks and I went to bed at sensible times.

Stay positive and I wish you all the happiness with your new baby and growing family 💜

[Maria_at_APP Moderator]

Hi Jlou84, really normal to feel that anxiety when getting closer to the date. I had my first in 2018 and my second baby in 2021, pp did not recurred for me. I think what was key for me was that the second time we were prepared, so that even if pp would present itself again it will be very different compared to it coming out of the blue as it did with my first.

Making sure I was able to sleep, so sharing feeds with my husband over night, was very important. Taking things at my own rythm for the first weeks was also key, and so was accepting help and listening to the good advice by stripping it from any perceived judgement.

I am wishing you all the best, hope they are keeping a close eye on your physical health too as you had mentioned the risk of gestational diabetes in a previous post. I developed it and even then it was all good for me while also taking olanzapine; after pregnancy my blood sugar is back to normal. Sending you all good vibes.

Maria

[Redtap Volunteer]

Hi Jlou84,

Congratulations. It is perfectly natural to feel anxious given your previous experience but pre warned is pre armed. You are doing everything you can to try and stop a recurrence by taking the medication. I didn't do any night feeds for the first few months so if you can get help with the night feeds I think that will help. Also if something were to happen your psychiatrist will know what medication works for you and getting on the right medication is half the battle.

I have a 3.5 year age gap between my two children and had PP with my first born and luckily no recurrence the second time. For my second child we had moved house to be closer to family and when I went to playgroups following the birth of my second I was very open with people and told them what had happened the first time because I wanted other people to be looking out for me just incase. You may or may not want to do this. My PP was over 20 years ago and I found people very understanding even then. I even went on to child mind some of the children that I met back then at playgroup, years later.

I am sending you good vibes. I really hope you are well this time round and get to experience a newborn when you are well. It is such a different experience and I found it such a healing experience.

Good luck and let us know how you get on.

[Laneybug1710]

Hi JLou I echo a lot of what had been said already. I experienced PP in 2019 and gave birth 4 weeks ago. So far I've had no reoccurrence of symptoms.

All the plans you've made sound very wise. I chose to give birth in a different hospital due to triggers and it was a much more positive experience.

I hope all goes well for you.

Take care, Ailania

[HelenMW Volunteer]

Hello JLou,

Congratulations on your second pregnancy and really glad that you have contacted the group. It’s so encouraging to hear from mums who understand.

For my second and third delivery I had a plan in place which in the main was my mum moving in and staying for two weeks. In mums day they stayed in hospital for two weeks to catch up on sleep and to establish feeding. I just kept everything simple, mum cooked and did some night feeds and it was good to feel well. I did have to tick 10 days post partum! So I did feel under the watchful eye of mum and my husband!

I knew I just would need a lot of sleep and mum enabled me to do this. I know there are different factors and such, but sleep seems to be key for a lot of us.

Having had PP in 1988 I did quite a bit of research and liaised with the people who could help me make plans. I did opt for an epidural to avoid the stress of my first delivery. I had favourite music to listen to and had also make enquiries with an MBU just in case.

Hope all goes well and it will be lovely to hear how you get on.

Warm wishes, Helen x

[Lilybeth Volunteer]

Hello Jlou84

I hope you are well and found the replies here reassuring.

Sending very best wishes. Take care 🌻

[Lilybeth Volunteer]

Hello Jlou84

Thinking of you and hope you are well. Take care and rest 🌻

[Rkmummy Volunteer]

hi jlou84

Hope you are doing ok

Thinking of you

Take care

RK