What were the positive things (if any... - Action on Postpar...

Action on Postpartum Psychosis

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What were the positive things (if any) that came from your PP experience?

andrea_at_app profile image

It seems that all you hear about PP in the media at the moment are only all the shocking stories that focus on extremes. This is different from my own experience & in fact for me there are quite a few really good things that came out of having PP. I now have such a special bond with my son & really delight in the little things that non PP mums might take for granted - he makes me laugh every day! I'm also far more understanding of others & their illnesses & I really value the important things in life, for me, health & family.

I was wondering if others felt this way & if there are any other positive things that can come from such a traumatic illness?

11 Replies

I've learnt to slow down a bit & enjoy the here & now & 'go with the flow' more rather than frantically planning & organising. I've also learnt to put less pressure on myself & like the person I am. I discovered i'm far more popular & likeable than I ever thought so at last I can enjoy being myself & worry a whole lot less about what other people think. The experience even brought my husband & I closer to his family & I made fantastic friends in hospital so although I wish it had never happened I feel a lot of good things came out of my experience of pp. I just hope all the things I learnt will help me to avoid pp when I hopefully have my next child.

I tend to value the everyday things in life much more - like being able to feel content and happy, having a beautiful girl, being able to return to work and being in the moment. I'm also more confident and centered and prioritize better because of the things that I've overcome and learned.

It's odd that some unthinking people think that just because you've experienced the condition you must be permanently damaged or suspect. It's a rare person who realizes that there might be permanent positive change.

andrea_at_app profile image

Aw that's lovely Kellbell & Orac, I can relate to all those things, especially 'enjoying the here & now' & 'valuing the everyday things' - I think those are the things that make people happy. I've met some great friends through PP too, who all seem to feel stronger having overcome it. Being more centred & increased self confidence are such great outcome too - something that you think'll never happen when you're going through it, but I guess it just takes time.

Thanks both for posting :-)

Hi, my wife and I are even closer than before. We've learnt to appreciate life and take every day as it comes and enjoy it. We have a great son, confident, well rounded and with a good sense of humour. For sure nobody wants to go through the rough stuff but there was a silver lining there, we just had to find it.

andrea_at_app profile image
andrea_at_appVolunteer in reply to Simon_at_APP

Aw thanks for that Zapple, that's lovely to hear! I think coming through the really tough times does bring you closer & yes, there is a silver lining!

As hard as it was, I would go through it all again to have my son in my life. I am a stronger and healthier person as a result of my experience. Took a while to get here but I now try to help others. If you like, you can check out my website jennifermoyer.com and my Facebook page at facebook.com/jenniferhmoyer.

Hannah_at_APP profile image

I'd agree with all this. It's the little things - taking each day at a time in the early days and the realising that things that used to once seem so important really aren't. Some of the people I know are so hung up on things that aren't important in life - corny as it might sound, it takes a big thing like this happening to you and your family to give some valuable perspective. Having your health and your family is bigger than what house you own, what car you drive, what job you have. I also think that whilst things were tough at times, there are still people out there in the world who are far less fortunate than me. I laugh lots, play lots, work hard (but not too hard!) and enjoy and value my family and friends. My son is amazing and although every parent says it, he's the most amazing child. Such good fun and a little character that I am proud to call "mine". I think it's brought me closer to my husband in a way too. I know that nothing could ever break us. Don't get me wrong, it's been incredibly hard along the way at times but to say I/ we survived is a definitely achievement!

HelenMW profile image

I think for me the positives things I can take from my experience of PP was the absolute joy to have a baby 8 years later and not experience it. It made every day so special to be well and able to breast feed and just enjoy the post natal period. So much so I went and had a third baby. Also I find the relationship with my first girl is all the more close because of the trauma we both went through after her birth. It is something I will never forget. It is good that APP are raising awareness and people are talking about it. It also enabled me to talk to mums who were experiencing post natal depression and say in all I honesty I really did understand what they were going through and be able to come along side and support them.

I think the early positives I took away were changes in my attitude, I realised:

1) good enough is good enough and said goodbye to being Little Miss Perfectionist.

2) that 99% of what we fear doesn’t happen and the 1% that does you will find your coping strategy, so in future feel the fear and do it anyway

3) yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery and today is a gift so live in the present

Also my experience in the Mental Health Hospital (as no bed in a MBU was available) was that even the insane have moments of sanity and that you should treat ill people as though they are well in the way you speak to them. In addition not to treat a book by its cover - a patient that looked like a tramp/bag lady had a degree from Oxford.

Naomi_at_app profile image

Thank you all, this is a beautiful thread

that's a great way to look at it, thank you so much.

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