long post

[Fowler01]

Hi I haven’t been on here for a while but I hope everyone is doing ok. I’m so much better than I was but there is just something that’s not quite right with me and I’m wondering if it’s just a bit of anxiety. I have a couple of different symptoms including just not feeling right, feeling a bit lightheaded, heart facing, tingling sensation, sweaty hands. Not all normally at the same time but can have a couple at same time. And my mind just goes into overdrive quite a lot in terms of something bad happening either to me or a loved one. I just don’t know if this is just normal life worries or something more. My sister has not long had a baby and they are doing well had a bit of a rough start but not sure if this has triggered some of my feelings of how poorly I was after having my daughter in March 2023 with PP. the other thing is I’ve had two dreams/nightmares in the past two weeks about me being mentally unstable. In one I got lost and ended up in Paris. I’m just a little worried and wondered if anyone has ever felt the same or experienced any of the same things. I try eat healthy and drink lots of water. I haven’t done much exercise lately but going to try get out at the weekend and see if that helps. Just wish I could stop thinking that something bad is going to happen.

[Fowler01]

want to add I have polycystic kidneys and recently had an appointment regarding them and both my auntie & dad had brain aneurysms which goes along with this disease. I’ve always known this but it seems to have just freaked me out more lately. And because I’m feeling the way I am I can’t help but worry that it might happen to me

[RPR24 Volunteer]

Hi Fowler01,

Sorry to read you’re having these worries. I must admit I was never anxious before having my children and being diagnosed with PP but now I find myself feeling a little anxious at times when I usually wouldn’t be. I try to rationalise these feelings and put it down to mum life, general life worries and also the fact I’ve had PP which I think makes me more scared it may be something else other than just worries/anxiety. I feel after PP were justified in feeling this way. I am more hyper vigilant and aware of how I’m feeling, my triggers and stresses. I honestly think for me I go in to fight/flight but try various things to keep calm, but we’re all different. Getting out and about sounds like a really good idea, I’ve recently started exercising and doing more for myself in terms of wellness, even just treating myself to a bath and I’ve found it really helps.

Take care 💜 x

[Fowler01 in reply to RPR24]

Thank for your reply! I’ve had a lovely few evenings chilling in the bath, definitely need to practice more self care. Hope your well

[Jenny_at_APP Partner]

Hi Fowler01,

I'm sorry you've been feeling this way. I definitely get more anxious than I used to prior to becoming a mum and having PP. I don't know how much is just down to becoming a mum with less sleep and more responsibility, but agree that experiencing PP is likely to make us more aware of, and more concerned about, any changes in our mood.

The symptoms you refer to do sound like anxiety and I think are all linked to our brain putting us into that fight or flight mode... It sounds like you've had some things going on which would understandably be playing on your mind too.

There are a lot of resources around for managing anxiety, and I think it's a case of finding what works for you. Grounding techniques can be very helpful, and breathing exercises which are simple but can be very effective.

Anxiety UK has some helpful information and includes some self-care tools: anxietyuk.org.uk/self-care-...

There is a useful list of different grounding techniques here: healthline.com/health/groun...

If you feel things are getting on top of you or you're feeling very concerned, do reach out to your GP for some support and/or reassurance - I think it's always better to reach out than not.

Getting outside and active and trying to focus on the here and now are all helpful things to try. I say this as a worrier who needs to get better at these things too, but I hope it helps to have a look at some ideas and resources and hear other people's experiences, and to know you're not alone in feeling this way.

With very best wishes,

Jenny x

[Fowler01 in reply to Jenny_at_APP]

Thank you Jenny much appreciated I will check out those useful resources. X

[Survivedwithcolor]

You're certainly not alone. Anxiety has plagued me in a major way. Honestly I think some of it is actually like a medical PTSD at this point. Going through the psychosis and all the hospitalizations and other awful aspects of PP, for years on end, would be difficult for anyone to overcome. I get anxious about my mental health and physical health both, and then I just get anxious about everything else on top of that. I'd say that following PP, and especially since I've been off antipsychotics, anxiety has been my number one mental health issue, BY FAR.

Exercise helps me tremendously, really tremendously. Even just getting out for a walk is great, and a full workout at the gym on a regular basis has changed my life in so many ways. I sometimes have to force myself to sit down and work on relaxing things like playing the piano, writing or art, but those are very helpful too.

[Fowler01 in reply to Survivedwithcolor]

Thank you for getting back to me. Sorry to hear you also suffer from anxiety. Hope you’re keeping well just now.

[Pikorua Volunteer]

Hello,

yep, I resonate with fear and anxiety, Does it get better??? That depends on circumstances based on make-up, continuing with a MH condition, possible informed trauma...so many more factors.

I believe over the years I managed to implement some coping strategies, when triggered. However, multiple stressors can easily increase my worries and I find life that so much more difficult to cope with.

CBD in my case has diminished Insomnia and I am convinced that it has helped me to handle roller coaster scenarios much better.

I have to be in acceptance that it is always lingering about as it is part of having this unique spectrum of mine BP1.

Wishing you well,

x

[Fowler01 in reply to Pikorua]

Thanks for your reply! Hope you’re well

[Pistaccia]

I can relate to that too. After having PP in 2022, and getting off antipsychotics, anxiety have been coming and going with very similar symptoms that you are describing. I also got "triggered" when my sister had her second baby after that - seeing him in the first weeks brought back so many memories and worries. Taking anti-depressant for a while after PP (and after anti-psychotics) has helped me cope with anxiety related to PP and also talking to my therapist. But I also do believe, motherhood makes us more worried than we used to - I mean, there is another precious human you are responsible for and that changes a lot. I am off all meds now for a 2 months and I do get anxious at times or worry something bad might happen (intrusive thoughts). I also get PP related dreams (just like you describe). I think it is a normal way of the brain to process everything. However, getting out, getting fresh air and movement in, helps a lot. Hope you are feeling better soon!

[Fowler01 in reply to Pistaccia]

Thanks for getting back to me! Sorry to hear you also get symptoms but it is nice to hear I’m not alone. It’s a very vicious circle when not feeling 100% and your mind is not clear, mine definitely goes into overdrive and makes the overthinking even worse. Hopefully with time the symptoms will become less. My nephew is now a month old and I’m starting to worry a bit less. Hope you’re well.