PTSD

[Poulson]

I am aware that I am going through the change at the moment and it has brought back all kinds of memories for me. I have been having a lot of nightmares again, last night I was in REM sleep and was gasping for my breath having a panic attack. My husband had to wake me up. I am losing my temper at the least little thing and cursing and swearing a lot, something I never usually do. I have consciously not been looking at my baby photo's as this brings back memories of hard times.

I have been cutting my grass today and trying to keep busy. I am about to have a soak in the bath, something I have not been able to do since the abuse I suffered from my brothers and cousin. It brings back memories of when my brother would come into the bathroom.

I have got an appointment with my psychiatrist soon and I am going to discuss my mental health diagnosis with him. I am sick and tired of being blamed for something I have not done, why should I be under a psychiatrist after 43 years when I have done no wrong? I have to keep on asking for validation from my husband that I am not in the wrong.

Best Wishes X