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Action on Postpartum Psychosis

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Please help

Loopy86 profile image
10 Replies

hello all

I’m so sorry to ask but please can you share your positive stories of recovering from this condition :(

I’m feeling so helpless and keep worrying there’s something else seriously wrong with me and the psychiatrist at the MBU got my diagnosis wrong. I keep trying to think rationally and tell myself how clever psychiatrists are but a niggling thought in my head keeps saying that I’m permanently going to be ill because it’s something other that PN psychosis :(

So sorry I just don’t know where to turn x

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Loopy86 profile image
Loopy86
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10 Replies
Banana_moon profile image
Banana_moon

hey, I’m sorry you’re feeling this way. I can definitely relate - it’s something I very much felt when I had just been diagnosed - I could tell that I was very poorly but was mistrustful of doctors and thought I might never get better. But now a year on I feel so much more hopeful and positive - I hope you feel the same x

Skyblue7 profile image
Skyblue7

hi after my hallucinations were gone mine did only last 1 week i also had anxiety to which my doctor found tablets to go on after about 6 months it wasn’t anxiety with my toddler it was depression of me missing my old life and adjusting now i’m on the correct tablets i learned that it’s life of wanting a child and missing out on what could of been with my life this is normal. i’m not sure what your situation is? could u emphasise this? u are getting help and chatting about this is good i felt after i got it off my chest it was like a massive weight had been lifted for me and that addressing what was wrong and for me i was over tired and seeing things that wasn’t there due to lack of sleep. i had mild pps and they didn’t even know correctly as they messed up my notes and ended up ruining my notes and telling people things i hadn’t seen not sure why. overall 2 years later i’m doing well for a mum and having to try to adjust to what is a normal life for a mother. again not sure your story but i’m much better on correct tablets you will get there. i wrote down positives that i did that week if my child needed me or smiled at me. or in yours what u achieved that u got back out enjoy shopping? etc.

taramag profile image
taramag

Hi there,

I just wanted to reach out and reassure you.

I had postpartum psychosis in 2021 with my daughter. She was my second child and this was completely out of the blue. I live in Northern Ireland where there are no mother and baby units and I was put in an adult psychiatric ward for three weeks. I missed my family, I struggled every day doing basic things and I needed support when I was discharged, just to be human. 

The reason I am writing this today is because I reached out to the forum, at my lowest and amazing the mummies helped me through it! 

You will get better, there will be one day where you will laugh and know it wasn’t manic, there will be one day you can do something you cried over, I promise just hang in there and use the support you have.

 Home start volunteers, APP volunteers family, friends, social media, there are loads of Mamas out there who just “get it” please never feel you are alone.

Never feel you are are so unwell recovery isn’t possible, that was me but now I am back to work full time. I participate where possible with the APP NI campaign for a mother and baby unit and I started my own business. 

Just give yourself a break. Take your time break down tasks into smaller tasks and every day I want you take note of your highlight of the day, it can be having a shower, leaving the house or even leaving the bedroom. 

One thing my CPN told me and I live by it, some things are “too big for now” don’t get caught up in the things you can’t do, instead focus on each day, break it into sections if that helps. Most of the things I said where too big for now (back then) I’ve done now ☺️☺️☺️

You’ve got this amazing Mama take care and stay in touch. Keep talking and sharing how you feel, we really “get it” 

Lots of hugs Tara 

Ramlah_at_APP profile image
Ramlah_at_APPVolunteer

Hello dear Loopy86.

First all of no need to apologise, you are allowed to write on the forum as much as you want . This is a safe place , use it as a diary

I’m sorry you are feeling helpless and keep worrying .

I can reassure you that you will be feel better over time . Healing mentally takes time , but there’s always light at the end of the tunnel.

I never thought that I will get better but trust me I did ❤️

Ellie_at_APP profile image
Ellie_at_APPPartner

Hi Loopy86

I'm so sorry you are feeling like this, a niggling feeling that you won't ever get better, and the psychiatrist was wrong in their diagnosis. You've received some lovely replies.

I wanted to write because I did feel exactly this. At times I was absolutely convinced that I wouldn't ever get better, that the professionals were incorrect, at times when in hospital too I thought I'd have to be in hospital forever. It really is the illness, the depression after the psychosis, that's making you feel like this. It is not reality. You really will come through this, like so many of us here have.

I know it is so hard, but these thoughts won't last forever.

Do know you can write here whenever you need to, we are here for you

Ellie

yougotthis1 profile image
yougotthis1Volunteer

Hi Loopy86 ,

Those thoughts are completely normal and it’s so great that you are recognising the need for reassurance and reaching out on here.

I promise you will get better from this, it’s such a serious illness it takes a lot out of you. But I’m sure you’ve already come so much further than you realise.

I am now 14 months on from initial diagnosis and am really enjoying life again. I have an energetic toddler who I now love being a mum to. I am volunteering to help others with PP and have just this morning done a sponsored 5 mile walk to raise funds for APP. At one point I struggled to get off the sofa and do anything but watch TV (depression following PP). It just shows how far you can come and I am only getting started. You will get there, you’ve got this.

Xx

Loopy86 profile image
Loopy86

thank you all so much for ur lovely replies. I’m just so concerned because I’m 14 months post partum and I still have so much paranoia and what my psychiatrist calls ruminations. I just worry I’ll always think this way as I can’t see how i can stop what’s happening :(

taramag profile image
taramag in reply to Loopy86

I had ruminations too, my mind would just whirl constantly and never gave me a break! That’s the anxiety I think, I did have therapy to help with that but what really helped is hearing how many other people had intrusive thoughts. That it’s the power we give them (ruminating) that can make things worse and we get stuck in a vicious cycle!

I remember my therapist told me one of his random intrusive thoughts about the railway station, it made me laugh cos it was sooooo not normal but it made me feel normal!

I am happy to say that the things we focused on me doing which caused the vicious cycle of anxiety & thus depression has eased dramatically. It does just take time, and you will find that one day the thoughts don’t whirl the way you used to! ☺️ now I have songs in my head a lot more than I used to! Like I’m still standing by Elton John! One of the amazing ladies on this forum taught me to dance to that one!!

Take care and take it one day at a time

T. Xoxo

Kaaybee profile image
Kaaybee

Hey Loopy86

I suffered in 2001. Once back on an even keen and after the immediate aftermath it took me a good year to come to terms with what had happened as well as being a new mum and all that comes with.

The experience and what had happened stayed close to me for some time after, as I tried to understand what and why it had happened to me.

Slowly but surely life settled in and carried on ….. my son has just had his 22nd birthday and my PP is so far behind us now it rarely ever comes up.

There were no MBUs back then and the condition was quite rare with nothing much online and very little understanding and support from mat services, GP and health visitors.

It was psychiatrists who diagnosed me, got me through and without hesitation knew what was wrong. They are clever and know stuff for sure.

PPP does make you distrustful and I used to find that on bad days I could spiral but it won’t always be that way, I promise, you will come out the other end ❤️

Lots of love

Kaybee

yougotthis1 profile image
yougotthis1Volunteer

hi Loopy86 ,

Have you been able to access any therapy at all? It really helped me to understand my thought patterns.

I have been reading a book written by a clinical psychologist Dr Julie Smith called “Why has nobody told me this before?” I’ve also found this incredibly useful and easy to read and understand.

Wishing you the best, it’s still early days and going through PP is a trauma, but you will get there.

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