Feeling alone and low

[Hayleynevin]

I had PP 2 years ago and was treated with anti psychotics and anti depressants drugs. About 8 weeks ago these were changed to a mood stabiliser drug called lamotrigine. Over the past couple of weeks I feel soooo low. So upset and I don't know what over. No energy to do anything. No interest in doing anything. Feel anxious at the thought of leaving my house to do anything! Ment to go to work tomorrow and I'm dreading it! I can't explain to anyone about how I'm feeling. I have psychiatrist appointment tomorrow. Anyone else felt like this? X

[Lilybeth Volunteer]

Hello Hayley

Good to here from you. I'm sorry you've been feeling low over the past couple of weeks. I'm glad you have an appointment with your psychiatrist who hopefully will take time to listen and help. He will probably review your medication if it's having such a draining effect on you. Perhaps the thought of going to work tomorrow is making you anxious? It's very hard to cope with the effects of medication and coping at work and home.

It might be an idea to write down the questions you have for your psychiatrist? I remember how nervous I was in front of professionals and I would forget questions I wanted to ask.

Take care.

[Hidden]

Hello Hayleynevin,

how was the appointment with your Psychiatrist?

I have had PPP in 2010 and after release from the hospital I was allocated a wonderful Psychiatrist. My partner and my boy and I always visited her every two weeks. She was listening to our family needs and looked after my medical profile and I gradually was weaned off from Lorazepam and Risperidone between 2010 & 2011.

I wonder whether you could attend a support group or gain other kind of therapy in order to get some help with your fear and anxiety issues. I recovered from Psychosis, but still struggled a lot with anxiety issues and attended 30 hours of a support group where people had various mental health problems (bi-polar, depression etc), but particularly struggling with triggers. Only after 5 weeks was I able to sit together with the other group members. I remember always sitting by the open door. Eventually I became a volunteer for the partnership offering peer support within the support groups.

You will improve. Do not hesitate to ask for help and support. Professionals will give you advise and possible contacts. My care coordinator was always happy to refer me to places or implementing specific professionals, so that I can confront my fears and manage my triggers and challenging situations i.e. support worker, art therapist etc...

Kind wishes,

Sabine

[Hayleynevin in reply to Hidden]

Hi Sabine, thank you so much for your reply. My appointment is tonight actually. Really looking forward to seeing her. I hope she can help! Thank you for all your advise too. I will let you know what the psychiatrist says in a few hours xx

[Hidden in reply to Hayleynevin]

Dear Hayley, thinking of you...just get my son ready for school.

Hope your appointment went well.

Sabine

[Lilybeth Volunteer]

Hello Hayleynevin

I hope your appointment went well last night and your psychiatrist was helpful.

Thinking of you. Take care.

[Hayleynevin]

Hi everyone. Thank you for your lovely messages. Other then breaking down in tears in the psychiatrists office, it went well. She's put me back on the anti depressants and has upped my mood stabiliser drug. I'm to see her again in 6 weeks. She asked if I felt 'safe'. Which I do, I have s good support system around me. I'm literally sat at my desk now at work trembling in feel so anxious. 😢 X

[Lilybeth Volunteer]

Hi Hayley

Thanks for your update. Sometimes it's good to cry as a way to let all your emotions out that you have been keeping a lid on. I'm glad you have a good support network. So sorry you're so anxious at work .... I know that's an awful feeling. Is it not possible for you to ask your GP for a note for time out as it's very hard to work under the effects of medication?

Take care and go home early if it gets too much X

[Hidden]

Hello Hayley,

I am pleased you were able to unload and let your emotions go with your Psychiatrist.

6 weeks is a long way off to see the Psychiatrist again. I hope the medication will help; it usually takes a while till they 'kick in'.

Do you have some sort of support within work? It maybe worthwhile to have a little work diary to dot down your emotions ,-just to recapture your events and activities and things which went well and not so well or what you've found difficult to deal with. I am just thinking that this little diary could help you to communicate with the one who is responsible to make sure your health and welfare is protected, especially when poorly and you need time out.

Apropos 'me-time' and anxiety. I really could recommend Yoga and meditation. It helps me a lot with my breathing technique, thus I am able to cope with some of the obstacles.

Wishing you well and all in stepping stones.

Sabine

[Hayleynevin]

Hi ladies, thank you so much for your kind words and advice. I world take up yoga or something like that. I have a gym membership but I literally can't find the enthusiasm to get off the sofa and do it. I only work 2 days a week but it's very pressurising and demanding. I'm contacted every day of the week, every time of the day by my boss asking for things to be done on my days off. Attend events on days that I don't work. I'm an events manager. I literally am scared to go in to work. I feel like I can't do my job. I feel sick and anxious at the thought of it. I'm considering leaving and relieving a stress in my life sbs just concerntrate on getting myself back on track? X

[Lilybeth Volunteer]

Hello Hayley

Good to hear from you. It sounds like you work every day of the week instead of two with your demanding boss. I think it would be a good idea to consider a job which is less stressful. I had a job which was very pressurised with targets to be met and I was so stressed and anxious. I remember well that feeling of dread every morning ......

I think when we get our mental health back after going through so much we really need to look after it. My GP was very understanding and I had time off due to work related stress which gave me time to consider my options. It's a big step as we all have financial commitments but in the end what you need is peace of mind. I managed to find a job which was less stressful, with not so many hours and felt so much better as my anxiety faded.

I think your boss is being very unreasonable and you really should put yourself first and as you say, concentrate on getting yourself back on track. PP mums are amazing ..... take really good care of yourself. xx

[Hayleynevin]

thats what my mum says. Mental health is far more important then any job or money! I had some time off work for this before and got better and returned to work for this to happen all over again. I think that's telling me something really! I need to relieve some stress. Xx

[Lilybeth Volunteer]

I agree with your mum, Hayley. You need to do what's best for you and not put yourself under so much stress that it's making you ill. Sending you a hug Xx

[Hayleynevin]

I just don't know if we would cope financially which will add Another stress. When I was recovering from pp my husband had a stroke. They said from the stress he was under looking after me. I can't do that again! I wish there was some financial help out there! X

[Lilybeth Volunteer]

Hello Hayley

Coping financially is a worry. I'm so sorry to hear your husband had a stroke. Years ago, when I was recovering after my second PP, my husband had a breakdown caused by all the stress at home with me as it took so long then. Perhaps if you could have a chat to someone at your local Citizens Advice Bureau they might be able to help. I think Income Support benefit might be available if you work 16 hours or less.

It must be very hard to weigh everything up and I hope you find a way to put your health first at work. X