2 children pregnant and alone with bipolar

I don't really know what to say and how to iv never been on any form of chat room before but I'm really lost and alone so I'll* just tell my story ..... I'm 27 I have a 10 year old boy and a 21 month little girl I recently found out I was pregnant I'm not in the best place 2 weeks prior to finding out I was pregnant I took an overdose of duloxetine with all intentions of it killing me but it didn't I'm still here. my periods are all messed up so I have no idea how many weeks/months I'm pregnant so this could of been while I'm pregnant to add to the guilt. iv now weaned myself off of the meds because of all the complications duloxetine can cause the babies development  and it has been a total nightmare but thankfully after 3 weeks of hell I'm starting to feel more myself. my other half is an alcoholic functioning works very hard but also drinks a lot we've broke up so many times and he's left but we've got back together and he's promised to change his drinking habits bla bla bla to cut a long story short he's gone again due to arguments over his drinking. I go for a scan Tuesday to date me I just feel so alone and depressed and I don't know what to do I don't want to have a baby alone I'm scared but I would never forgive myself if I abortion I think id punish myself.

sorry if this is not what this sight is for but I don have anybody and thought id try something

5 Replies

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  • Hello

    Welcome to the forum and thank you for sharing your story so honestly here.  I'm sorry you are struggling at the moment.  Do you have family or a good friend to talk to?  Perhaps your GP can refer you to a midwife for confirmation of how many weeks pregnant you are?  Try not to worry about taking all the tablets, I'm sure it was more a cry for help and I am glad you are beginning to feel more yourself.

    You are doing very well to cope alone with two children but you do need support.  Did you have postpartum psychosis (PP) following the birth of your baby?  This site is mainly for women who are experiencing PP, in recovery or recovered, although there are mums here who also have bipolar.  I'm sure they will be able to give you their good advice.

    Have you contacted Bipolar UK for support?  There is also The Samaritans helpline,  116 123, available 24 / 7 if you need to talk to someone.

    Take very good care of yourself.  You are very special to your children and I hope you find support soon.

  • wow. You are dealing with overwhelming circumstances, this is a great place to shout out about how you are feeling and coping, struggling and just trying to breath through this life. We are here for you. I trust that there must be some physical local help that you can get.  Do not fear. Have faith. You are stronger than you think you are. There is always a way through every problem.

  • Sending you hugs.... Medication change, emotional hormones, messy relationships... Hope you can find a safe place to share here.

    How has your bipolar affected your previous pregnancies?

  • Hi

    I'm really sorry to hear how you are, and how desperate you have felt. You have received some really good support and replies here. As others have said things are never completely desperate, and they can always get better, and you are stronger than you think. How are you feeling now?

    What support (professional, friends, family?) you have? Are you with a mental health team? Is there anyone you can trust who can talk to who can support you so you don't feel so alone?

    How did your scan go on Tuesday? I hope it was OK. It is understandable you have considered abortion, it is not surprising given everything you are going through, you do not need to feel guilty about considering that. A decision like that is a really huge one though, and its important to listen to yourself and how you really feel about it, from what you've said it sounds like it's not something you would want to do, but you do need support with that. The most important thing is that you can get support so you feel you can cope with everything. 

    As Lilybeth says, this is a site for women who have had postpartum psychosis, I'm not sure if you had PP with any of your children?  You may find that you get more relevant peer support from others who have been in a similar situation to you from another site / organisation such as Bipolar UK. They also have an on line support forum. They may also be able to direct you to professional support to, if you don't have any. Details are here bipolaruk.org/ecommunity

    But do know you can keep writing on here too, you are very welcome.

    Take care, I'm thinking of you X

  • Hello

    I hope you have managed to find support for yourself since your post.  Have you been to your G.P for advce as he / she should be able to signpost you to teams that can help you?

    Take very good care, we are here if you need us.

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