Help

[Ashley031]

Hi everyone. I'm having a rough night. bad thoughts keep racing through my mind. What can I do to get rid of them! I'm so sick of this. I can't do it anymore. I just want to sit in a corner and just cry and cry. please help me

[Lilybeth Volunteer]

Hello Ashley031

I'm sorry to hear you were having a rough night. It's so tiring when all you want to do is sleep but thoughts keep racing.

In your other thread you mentioned you are on a waiting list to see a Psychiatrist. Is it possible if you tell your doctor how much you are struggling he can fast track your referral so that you can be seen as a priority? In this way you might be put on a different medication to help, although I know you don't want to change this. I have read from my notes that a change to medication helped my thoughts and delusions that I was a bad mother so it might be worth a try.

I can understand how difficult it is for you to cope with days and nights that are not so good. If you can keep a note of how you are struggling this will be very helpful to the Psychiatrist when you do have an appointment.

Take care, surround yourself with lots of support.

[Ashley031 in reply to Lilybeth]

Hi lilybeth,

I'm scared to write down my thoughts. I feel like someone might find it and think I'm crazy. am I crazy? these thoughts replay over and over. I try to ignore them but my brain gets focused on them. am i a bad person? should I be locked away?

[suzannah0 in reply to Ashley031]

I felt like that too. I told myself that's irrational! My gp said that was a good thing to say to myself. Can talking to someone/watching a movie/playing a video game/listening to musicthoughts switch off those thoughts. I don't write those thoughts down, I try to think of pretty/beautiful things instead. Keep taking yourtoo your antipsychotic medicine too

[Ashley031 in reply to suzannah0]

Hi lilybeth,

Usually if i keep myself busy like reading or watching movies I do feel a little better. But sometimes the thoughts are so strong that they keep replaying. I believe if my medication dosage goes a little higher I might feel better but I'm a little scared to ask my doctor.

[Hannah_at_APP Administrator]

I'm sorry to hear things are tough Ashley031. But you are not a bad person, you should not be locked away, you are fighting an illness. And it's a horrid one, a really tough and cruel one. But you can do this, keep trying to take time for yourself and relax, ask your health professionals about any medication changes or other treatment. Take good care, you can and will get better, xx

[Ashley031 in reply to Hannah_at_APP]

Hi hannah,

I keep telling myself that I'm not a bad person and I will get through this but sometimes it's so hard bc the thoughts are strong. May I ask what kind of thoughts u went through?

[Hannah_at_APP Administrator in reply to Ashley031]

Hi Ashley031, my thoughts were so muddled in the midst of my pp that never made any sense, which was scary enough in itself I guess. I also had thoughts that my baby was dead and that perhaps I had somehow caused it (this was when I was in a general psych ward without him, but then also continued when I was in periods of confusion and being treated in the MBU). Distraction really helped me, to listen to music or try and focus on something else. I hope you get some further support and things are feeling better soon, take care, xx

[suzannah0]

If it's really bad just go to hospital. Take your medicine before you go and take the packet of medicine too. I felt like this and called an ambulance. They thought I was OK not to need hospital at that time and sent me home, with some strategies but most of all it was a relief to talk to someone. When I got too unwell to go myself the hospital had a record of me which I'm sure helped them.)time whenever I'm unsure of where to find help, and gp etc can't help, I still go to hospital. If someone can go with you, or give over the phone info to that can help a lot. Sleep is really important. Not all GPs understand as much as the trained mental health staff at the hospital.

[Lilybeth Volunteer]

Hello Ashley031

Try not be be scared about asking your doctor about your medication. If you think an increase might make a difference he will be able to talk to you about it. It might be an idea for someone in your family to suggest this to your doctor if you feel you can't. I can remember finding it difficult to talk to professionals and put my point across. I think when we have had PP we worry about how we will be judged, so tend to shy away from such discussions.

I had constant thoughts that I was a bad mother and fighting these thoughts can be very draining. It's hard but try to distract yourself, either with music, or perhaps going for a long walk. Or talk to your family about your thoughts so that they can understand and get help if they think you need it.

Stay safe and take care.