10 Months

[KatieM21]

Hi I'm Katie I'm almost 10 months post partim and I'm still dealing with post partum depression. It gets me so down at times where I cry for hours. My boyfriend doesn't understand and I haven't told anyone but him. What am I supposed to do to help myself get better ? (I also have anxiety)

[Jenny_at_APP Partner]

Hello Katie,

Welcome to the forum. I'm sorry to hear you're suffering from post partum depression and anxiety. Can I ask if you suffered from postpartum psychosis? Fortunately my PP wasn't followed by depression but a lot of women suffer this double blow that just seems so completely unfair and I'm sure you'll find support here.

Are you on any treatment and are you under a mental health team at all, or being looked after by you GP? If you're on medication and it doesn't seem to be working perhaps you could ask for a review?

Do you go to any groups or anything like that? Do you manage to get out and about? It must be very lonely not having spoken to anyone about what you're going through - is there anyone, family or friends, that you feel you could open up to? It can be really hard to talk about postpartum mental illness I know, it's supposed to be such a happy time, but you are not alone - so many women suffer and you shouldn't suffer in silence. I've lost count of the number of women who have told me about their depression / anxiety when I've told them about my illness, you may find you're surprised by the reactions you get (in a positive way). But I understand it's easier said than done and you may not feel you're comfortable trying to talk to anyone. The internet is a great place to seek help anonymously. If you're on social media, there are weekly twitter chats for women with PND, Facebook groups and online forums like this one.

I'm sure others will share their experiences. Be gentle on yourself, you will get through this and be you again.

Best wishes, J x

[KatieM21 in reply to Jenny_at_APP]

I don't have my own transportation so I pretty much wait hand and foot for a ride. This is my first time engaging with anyone outside of family I want to thank you for all you have said

[Lilybeth Volunteer in reply to KatieM21]

Hello Katie

I'm glad you have reached out for support as depression is really hard to fight on your own. It's such a shame that the joy of having a baby can be tarnished by such a feeling of being helpless and very low.

I had Postpartum Psychosis many years ago followed by what seemed like an endless depression lasting a year or more. I wondered if you have been to your G.P to talk to him / her about how you are feeling? Or perhaps an appointment with the Practice Nurse might be easier for you. I think it's a good idea to surround yourself with support as sometimes it's difficult for family and friends to understand how you are feeling.

Perhaps your G.P might refer you for CBT (Cognitive Behaviour Therapy) just to talk to a professional about how you are feeling and give you coping strategies for your depression and anxiety. Some mums here have found such therapy very helpful. It might be an idea to book a double appointment with your G.P so that you can have time to explain how low you have been?

Please don't suffer in silence ..... depression and anxiety can be treated effectively with medication and other interventions. It probably doesn't feel like it at the moment but you will be well again.

Take good care of yourself. We are all here for you.

[KatieM21 in reply to Lilybeth]

Thanks for the info right now I don't have any insurance so it's hard to seek professional help

[Lilybeth Volunteer]

Hello Katie

I'm sorry you don't have any insurance to seek professional help. I assumed you were in the UK and would receive help through the NHS. Perhaps you might find Postpartum Support International helpful, the link being postpartum.net.

Best wishes.

[KatieM21 in reply to Lilybeth]

Thanks for the help

[Hidden]

Dear KatieM21,

I have read the previous messages and also would like to say welcome to the forum.

Please, do not suffer in silence...Since I have had PPP in 2010 I pretty much kept to myself for 5 years until I found this forum. Once I came out of hospital I was looked after by my partner full time with the support of the partnership mental health team (UK).

I am so sorry that it is difficult for you to find professional support, because of a different health system. It can be frustrating. I empathize, because the health system in my country (mainland Europe) is very different to the UK.

I am so much happier to exchange my information and experiences with other mums and my mental health is definitively improving, despite my anxiety issues.

With regards to your anxiety I am not sure whether you could research for support groups within your locality (charity run). Is there any community support? Mother and baby groups etc.? I believe it helps to talk to like minded people, especially mums, health professionals and educationalists...I managed to attend support groups and baby and mum groups in 2011. In addition we have had a health visitor, who helped me with my baby in the first 2 years.

I do hope there is something for you available.

We are here to listen!

Wishing you the best of luck with your new family.

x

[LOT1993]

I cried a lot with mine. Buy or check out a copy of DOWN CAME THE RAIN by Brooke shields. She had a bad one.

[Arabella-]

I'm sorry to hear you're struggling - I'm 11 months post partum and I've had PP and am suffering depression too.

If you find out some good tips please pass them on!

I think just talking/writing about it will help us both. Also I see a psychologist have you got access to therapy?

Hope you feel better today. Thinking of you x

[Lilybeth Volunteer]

Hello Arabella-

Thank you for your supportive reply to KatieM21. I'm sorry to hear you're also suffering depression after PP. Do you live in the UK where access to services seems easier than abroad?

I notice you asked for any good tips and hope you found the links here helpful. I hope seeing a psychologist is helping you to cope. I think it's best to take things a day at a time as depression can be very tiring. I also found music featured in my fight during recovery from PP and depression. Labi Siffre's "Something inside so strong" was my rebuke to PP and what seemed like an endless depression. Also the chorus to "I'm still Standing" by Elton John is a great shout out to all that tried to hold me back.

I hope you are having regular medication reviews with your GP as I think finding the right balance is important. Perhaps you might like to start your own post so that you can have more support from mums here?

Take good care of yourself .... we are all here to lean on. x