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Action on Postpartum Psychosis
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Loneliness

Hi I have just taken my health assessment here and it has highlighted the issue of feeling lonely. I remember 1st feeling lonely around people when I was first doagnosed with PP.

I have been well now fr a long time, 11 years, but i do still have times where I feel really lonely and I cry about it. Since then I have divorced my husband and been through a rough time but I do wonder is this loneliness still related to PP and bipolar or is it just because of being by myself now? Any advice would be appreciated. Thank you x

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Hello Buzzbee18

Welcome to the forum where you will find lots of support. I'm sorry that you have had a hard time, especially after having endured PP 11 years ago. It's good to hear you are well apart from feeling lonely.

I had PP many years ago but I'm sorry I don't have any experience of bipolar. During my PP I was very loud, which was not me at all! Even now I can be quite anxious at times especially meeting people I haven't met before. Can I ask if you go to work? If not, perhaps you could volunteer at a shop within your community as a way of socialising and meeting people. Even learning a new skill might give you an outlet? Some years ago I trained and volunteered with St John Ambulance and it was very rewarding and sociable when there wasn't an emergency! As a duty, once a month, we would go to the theatre and watch a play, while at the same time listening out for anyone in need. Or is it that you feel lonely even when in a crowded room? Have you opened up to your friends about how you feel ... just meeting for coffee and catch up might help?

It might be an idea to discuss your health assessment with your GP who might refer you for counselling. Sometimes having had PP we have kept so much buried, so talking therapy might be a good way to express your feelings and all that you have coped with over the years. 'Mind' also have a page about loneliness which might be helpful for now. If I'm feeling flat I find music on the radio can give me a lift, especially "I'm still Standing" by Elton John :) It's not easy if you are so upset, so please ask your GP for help.

Thanks for reaching out .... we are all here to listen.

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I work full time. Its not a feeling that takes over everything else. Its just there sometimes but im not sure if it relates to my mental illness or its simply that i feel lonely after my divorce. Thanks fr ur reply x

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Hello Buzzbee18

I think recovering from PP and also going through the pain of divorce is a lot to come to terms with. I think it all takes time to accept and move forward. Perhaps if your GP can refer you to talking therapy it might make a difference? Take care. x

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Dear Buzzbee,

I am so sorry that you feel so lonely at times. Lilybeth has sent a lovely reply with lots of great ideas, there are lots of other brave Mums on the forum who I am sure wil also sympathise and chat. Divorce can be such a lonely experience without the trauma of PP too. You say that you feel lonely sometimes, perhaps, at those particularly acute times, if you could try and think 'this too shall pass', (a little mantra) and set your mind on something that makes you happy, go for a walk who knows who you might meet. All these things are easier said than done, I know.

You have been through a lot but like Lilybeth says 'You're still standing',

Well done.

Also APP have meet-ups sometimes with other PP mums, I wonder if you might find that helpful.

Best wishes to you

Judith

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Dear Buzzbee . Yes you will feel lonely from time to time . You are grieving for the positive aspects of which there probably were some despite the divorce . But this is normal .

I’ve felt very alone at times not following divorce but husbands suicide when my four children were small. It’s scary too as you know your vulnerable side having had PPP and PND . What had a hugely positive and helpful effect on my ability to function

And get through what was really horrific was looking outside myself and caring for others . Luckily I m a nurse and in this work, you have to ( however lonely sad etc you are). Focus on others problems which switches off your own distress. Keeping a diary expressing my frustrations and disappointments , anger , etc helped too.

( I had huge ££ problems, for the first few years?) but work was my saviour .

Do you have any groups or interests you can follow up? Not a quick fix but could lead to meaningful connections in future.

After I was widowed oddly I seem to attract men who were weak and needy !!

I’m now happily single with some wonderful friends I’ve made over the last working years , no longer “ alone” but I recall vividly feeling exactly like you express!! Keep optimistic my dear and you will come through this. You are courageous and a survivor !!

Thinking of you

Love

Denise

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Hi Denise! Thank you for your reply. I am so sorry for everything you went through but sounds like you come come at the other end and learnt a lot on the way.

Yes i miss the belonging to a team and having a companion there. I got a bf now but he has comitments himself and we are lucky to see each other one day a week.

Your advice is great and i will def take it on. Thank you. X

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Denise, you are truly an inspiration!!! Thank you for explaining the vulnerability of loneliness and emptiness. True words spoke so beautifully...You certainly found your way again and got out of the mud.

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Dear Buzzbee. How are you after the weekend ? I hope you are feeling more optimistic now and have found some ways forward . Which part of the uk do you live in? City or town.?

Just a catch up to see how you are going !

Best wishes

Denise x

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Hi thanks Im ok. I had a good weekend. I only get this feeling once and again and tbh I dont think its linked to pp or bipolar but my new circumstances.

I live in Swansea. Im not sure if there are any members close by. Where are u from? X

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Hi Buzzbee

I just wanted to let you know that we are developing a peer support network in South Wales particularly, where we have some funding from Mind to develop a peer support network, but also across Wales generally. If you were interested in volunteering in any way and getting involved, do email our main email app@app-network.org

Take care,

Ellie

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Hi yes thank you I am already in touch with Hannah and will be definitely getting involved. Thanks x

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Wonderful news about the peer support networking for Wales via APP!!! Pleased you are in touch with Hanna, Buzzbee.

It is so important to have help closer to your door!

Look after yourself

x

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