i havent posted in a long time. You may have read my previous posts on my 2nd pregancy and my story of my experience of PP following the birth of my first child.
After all the stress and worry i thankfully did not get PP this time round. I had a careplan in place and lots of monitoring and support from health proffesionals and my family.
I gave birth to my second child in March this year. I stayed in hospital on the labour ward for around 4 to 5 days and had plenty of sleep thanks to meds and family members helping with night feeds. When i went home we all knew the main factor was my sleep. As the weeks went by and still all good signs we all grew more confident but still very weary of course. When baby was around 12 weeks old my CPN (care co ordinator) told me that she was very pleased i didnt fall ill again but did say its still early days. As i was always asking have i made it yet?. I have been told that i will be on medication and kept an eye on up untill the baby is a year and then a review will be made i expect. There are no words to describe how happy iam that i didnt fall ill or most importantly i was not seperated from my new born. Time has flown by and my baby is now 8 months old. I am so proud of my partner for all the support he gave me. And my good ol mum.
My eldest child is fast approaching 3rd birthday. Wow 3 years since PP. Unfortunately i cannot say iam over it. It still verh much haunts me. Even though my second child wasnt planned but a pleasent surprise, having another did not fill that gap. I mean it was a delight to have a newborn for what felt like longer but i did have a cry when holding baby in my arms as i couldnt help but think of my first born. I still find myself thinking about the whole pp experience. Going over it all to my manic behaviour, to hospitals, family visiting me, in the mother and baby unit. Some cant understand why i cant move on but i suppose you can never truley understand something unless you have been there.
If you are thinking about having more children or are pregnant please feel free to message me. Id be more than happy to answer any questions. Read my previous posts as i did mention my care plan. And my strategies for not worrying etc. Even though i knew i had risks im so pleased i have had another child. Im still scared of becoming unwell again and knowing that i got so unwell i understand im more vulnerable. You must stay positive and take care of you. When im having a bad day or dwelling of what happened, seeing my children smile and laugh get me through, they keep me going.
ive also decided id really like to work with people with mental health, other mothers. Ive been trying to do some re search. Id like to work on wards phyciatric or mother and baby. Im guessing you have to have some sort of qualification. Or could i volunteer, obviously working on a ward you would need level of expertise and training. Had anyone eles gone on to do this?
I wish i posted sooner but as you can imagine very busy with a soon to be 3 year old and baby. But i hope this gives someone a little hope or faith that you may not experience PP a second time.
wish you all good health and happy thoughts x