I havent posted in a while. My first son's 2nd birthday is approaching and that means its been 2 years since being diagnosed with Post partum phychosis. I still feel traumatised by it all and feel this is a sad time for me as im thinking of all the horrific memories. I cant accept the time i lost from my son as a new born. It petrifies me that i will become unwell for a second time.
So im now 22 weeks pregnant. Ive had awful sickness throughout. I now know its a girl. As far as i know all scans appear normal which is a relief. As this was an unexpected pregnancy and i was terrified the fetus may of been damaged due to medication. Before i knew i was pregnant i was taking sodium valporate and quitiepin. Once i found out i was then advised by my phychiatrist to just take quietipin as the fetus was already exposed to it and sodium valporate is not advised. If i planned the pregnancy however i would have been put on Olanzapin.
My mind is at ease that im carrying a healthy baby. But as you can all imagine i cant stop thinking of what if... will PP return for a second time? Its easy for my CPN (care co odinator) to tell me not to think about it. Ever since my last experience i have thought about it all the time. 2 years seems a long time but i dont think so. After being so ill and under going strong medication i was constantly tired for months and months after being discharged. So i suppose recovery is a long journey. Im on my way but havent quiet moved on yet.
My second child is due 14th march. I will happily update you all, especially for those interested for having more children. If i fall unwell again or hopefully can enjoy my newborn and be PP FREE. If anyone has gone on to have more children, i would appreciate hearing your second experience. Even if you did become unwell again, as i know i need to prepare myself for it.
Wishing everyone good health and happiness