I was lying in bed last night and I realised how much anxiety can affect us all. I often have fleeting moments where some insignificant thing can scare me and I realised that it could spiral out of control if I hadn't taken hold of my anxiety. For instance I was watching a film last night and a part came on with a young boy screaming quite horrifically, and very strangely when I was lying in bed the image of the boy and the noise came back and it jolted me awake and had an impact I would never have expected.
In the depths of my anxiety last year this would happen quite often. I would think about something that had happened that day or through the week that had made me feel uneasy - being in the house alone as an example - and I would get a lump in my throat at the thought of it and I would have a general sense of uneasiness. That feeling would have had me bed ridden back then and I just realised last night how strong a thing anxiety is. the smallest thing can have a huge impact, and people who don't suffer anxiety could never understand how sufferers feel. I often found when I tried to explain it to people they would just brush it to one side as being a phase or something you could snap out of.
Which is why I think it is so important to find your inner strength. Even if it takes the smallest steps and could take a full year to start feeling better. The first step could be climbing out of bed and putting your foot on the floor and pushing aside the over-enthusiastic heart beats, or stepping out of the house for the first time in weeks/months. Perhaps travelling. Everybodies first steps will be different, some will be bigger steps than others, but the most important thing is that those steps need to work for you. It could take you weeks to feel one minute of calm and peace, but that one minute of calm could implant another ounce of mental strength to your next step.
It's so important not to let life scare you. Lets not lose our years. Not too sound too poetic and serious but let your senses run wild and find beauty in the every day small things
Sending everyone love today.