Help, I can't stop being the rock for my family

[AnxietyBear]

I feel that my life is at such a low right now that nothing will improve it. I'm always the person who will reach out to others but never help myself (which is horrible). My friends always call me the "mom" of the group because I always over worry about others. My family is supportive of me however it feels like that I am the rock of the family right now. My family has had a lot of issues with their pasts which has come to affect me and my relationship with my family. Death even seems better than dealing with this and these stops won't go away. I am in bad spot right now and I can't seem to get out of it. I notice the joys in the world but they are so far away. These issues are weighing down on my heart and I don't know how long I can deal with it. Any suggestions for how to deal with this because I don't know how to.

[Agora1]

Hi AnxietyBear, there is always that one person who becomes the Matriarch of the

family because they seem stronger and more put together. In my family, it's my

younger sister. I am finding out that even though she doesn't have anxiety disorder,

she still is human and can only take on so much before she is completely worn out.

Learning to say "no" and find other ways of support become crucial in time. After all

you are only as good as you are to yourself first.

I notice my sister and her husband taking more and more getaways so that she can

regenerate. She goes as far as telling her grown children that she can't be reached

by phone because there is no Wi-Fi. Sometimes we can care too much which sounds

like where you are now. Thinking that death is your way out is a little drastic. Having

a heart to heart talk with family or maybe writing each one of them a personal note

starting with you love them dearly, however...this is all catching up with you etc..

It's not an easy task since everyone has learned to depend on you but for your own

sanity and well being, it needs to be addressed and soon. I wish you well xx

[limenavy]

Are you getting enough sleep? Do you have friendships that aren't one-sided or someone outside your family that you can look to for your own supportive needs? When was the last time you did something nice for yourself? I've heard it a lot, but when you get on an airplane, the flight attendant tells you that if the cabin loses pressure and the oxygen mask drops, you secure your own mask first, then help the people beside you. This is because if you can't breathe, you'll be of no use to anyone else. Self-care is so, so, so important -- a hot bath, an exercise class, a mini vacation where you go phone and drama free for the weekend, counseling for yourself -- and it's crucial to your health (mental and physical).