Omitted from family

[grandmadee6]

Both of my parents and 2 out of 4 sisters have died. I was 50 when I lost the 4. I was 52 when the last of the 4 died. So there was myself, who is the oldest sibling, and 2 younger sisters, 13 and 18 years younger. When my parents and sisters were alive, we were a close family. After all the deaths, my sisters started trashing me, and leaving me out of some get togethers, and had excuses why they couldn't get together with me. Well the day after Christmas they cut off all contact with me, my daughters and granddaughters. This is really an emotional hardship on me. I feel like I am hanging on a thread. I'm scared I could have a breakdown. I never did anything wrong to them. It's tearing me apart. In 2 weeks I am suppose to go to a shower, they will be there. I hope I don't lose it there.

[lhortiz]

Oh wow! So sorry to hear that. I feel ya though. I have broken off my relationship with several family members over similar circumstances. All I do is hold my head up, be respectful but never let them see me sweat. I will always maintain my self respect and pray for God to work it out.

[Sandia]

Have you tried to communicate with them and ask them why they are doing this. I would try and find out why and how can it be fixed. Sometimes it could be miscommunication. I hope things get better

[fauxartist]

I'm terribly sorry for your loss, you certainly have had a lot to deal with, and on top of it all, being isolated from the surviving family is awfully cruel. If you have no idea why they are treating you this way, I would suggest writing them a letter about how you feel, and why are they being this way. Send it to all involved and let it go for now, knowing you did your best to rectify the situation. As for your own kids and stuff, let them know that you or they did nothing wrong, and that for what ever the reasons are, it has nothing to do with them. If you don't hear back from them, well, then it's their loss...I know your hurting...and I too have had to let family go that were for my situation, just too toxic to deal with after a while. Get involved with other support outside of the immediate family as well. Whether it be playing cards, gardening, going on field trips, what ever it takes to help you cope, even if you need to talk to your doctor, just take care of yourself.

[Agora1]

Hi grandmadee6, it's interesting in that the parents in a generation ago had the power to keep the family close and together. Once the monarch of the family is gone, there is that tendency to have siblings part and go their separate way. Knowing that you have not done anything to promote this can make you feel abandoned or confused. The thing is to stand in your place w/o confrontation. Being open to anyone who wants to approach you. Go to the shower with a smile and a warmth for everyone. Hold back your hurt, words can do irreparable harm. You are blessed in having your children and grandchildren by your side. Many have had their own children turn their backs on them.

Whatever your sisters reasons are, they will have to live to regret it. You cannot control what they are thinking or what their actions have been. But you can be the better person as well as helping yourself not to have a nervous breakdown over this, by accepting you have no control other than your own reactions.

Enjoy the shower. We are but a message away if you need a little support. We are all responsible for our own actions and reactions. Hugs grandmadee xx