Someone posed a question in the comment section of one of my posts. It said-Are you really suffering? Wife? Beautiful children? Life?
I pondered this for a moment. Taking a step back, I suppose it could be a blanketed statement not only to myself, but to anyone else who may have anxiety, panic, depression. I decided to dissect this:
Are you really suffering?
Perhaps the term is subjective. Am I aware that there is some cancer patient wishing they could trade places with anyone else who is alive, even if that meant dealing with daily anxiety? I would be foolish not to. I have written about such things many a time. Beyond the confines of medications and religions, there is just us, you, me. What is it about us that makes us this way?
Wife, beautiful children and life- Those are incredible things. Fortunate, blessed, however one may put it. I think of someone like Robin Williams. Funny, successful, wife, children, money etc. Yet, he found a way to suffer and in the end, he wrote his own last chapter. He had all the makings of what most would consider a great life. Yet there was suffering. One would go as far as to say that is just crazy……. And there it is! Right there is what is missing from the above question asked of me. Am I really suffering? And why should I be with a wife and beautiful children? The answer is very very simple. I suffer because at times my mind is not well. My rational is not up to par. My perceptions are manifestations that I later realize are silly, but yet in those moments and windows of time….they are not what they should be.
I was also told God put us here to learn so we have to take the bad a long with the good. I very much do not agree with this. Someone else once said that God has a plan. I once had to walk with our oldest Daughter into a cancer ward at Children’s Hospital. As we saw other little girls who were 4 years old and bald from the chemotherapy, I tell you that if that is a plan of any God, there is a incurable sickness to this God.
I believe that many moons ago (somewhere after 33 AD) a good person stood on the steps of the Church. This person did everything right and everything asked of them, but life went terribly wrong anyway. The Church, not knowing how to reason with such a thing, gave birth to terms like Gods Will, God Plan, and phrases like “Everything happens for a reason”. This was long after the Jews came out of Persian slavery with the New Testament. It should be noted that ancient Persians had their own religion prior to this called Zoroastrianism. It is one of the world's oldest monotheistic religions. It was founded by the Prophet Zoroaster in ancient Iran approximately 3500 years ago. Virgin birth of a Savior, judgement, a Hell ect… I could go on and on #stolenbychrstians. I have no faith in the faith that God wants me to learn anything at all. Ok enough theology history lessons. I studied it for too many years. However, and I must say, Dianetics has been helping me greatly.
The bottom line is we suffer, we push on and we need some support along the way. For some its religions, for others it is mediation, for others it may be medications or mixtures of many things….we keep pushing on…it is what we do.
Depersonalization 
Anxiety is a demon \(*_*)/
Anxiety....hope this helps
Yes I am New Here
