Coping today

Have not cried today. I slept a long time. I ate cereal with milk and didn't take my diabetes medicine to spike my sugar. That always makes me sleepy. My doctor told me to stop doing it because it's dangerous but I get so tired and have to sleep after a few days of feeling too terrified to sleep. I did ok for a while after I woke up but have started to have to rock and hum again. I hate this. It is so irrational. I know there is no danger but I still feel like calamity is about to happen to me again and I might loose someone else that I love. I am so lonely but keep away from people because it hurts so much to loose people. I am trying to have a hobby sewing quilt blocks. I feel good when I feel well enough to work on that. I didn't today. My fasting sugar was 137 when I woke up and everything looks blurry when it's high.I'm so tired of feeling so scared and shaking all the time. They treat me like a drug addict just for asking for medicine to. Help me. I have been hospitalized with depression and anxiety before. I was prescribed clonazepam before. It helped and when I didn't need it anymore I took myself off it with no trouble. But when my daughter was dying and since I have needed it again and they treat me like I am being unreasonable. They aren't living this hell. They don't care. Nobody does. I have to try hard every day to think of a reason to not swallow a bottle of pills and have it over with. I don't want to live a life like this.

1 Reply

  • Sorry to hear this.

    My mother has diabetes and I would recommend you take them, even though they make you feel rubbish. The tablets are there to help :)

    It is always a worry with almost everyone that we will lose someone we love. Being lonely and keeping yourself away from people will not help in the long run. I used to think I would lose my mother when she had cancer, I learned to stop thinking about the future and think about present day instead.

    It's good you have started a hobby as things like this stop our mind from thinking about anxiety. I would recommend you stick with it and perhaps find some more hobbies.

    People do care. Think to yourself that you're strong, you haven't swallowed them pills and still fighting each day. Don't give in to these bad thoughts :) You'll get through it.

    Take care.

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