I have yet to find out the MRI results however yesterday has been the mos awful day since my head trauma 1 month ago. I was in the airport ready to board for my flight to Italy and had least 1 panic attack thinking that I may die or suffer a hemorrage during the flight. I remember I nearly fainted and had to lean against a wall just to make sure.
It is true that slept little within the previous 24h but am still worried. I am now in Italy visiting my family who are trying their very best to get me up and running back to normal all over again.
I kinda feel slightly better but there are times when I would get a massive skull pain in the form of a headache or there are times when I would feel as if the bed is sinking in when waking up in the morning as I mostly sleep on the right side so when I roll over on my back I feel bit dizzy for 2 or 3 seconds.
Yesterday we went to the seaside thinking that I will feel better but had a headache and started crying out loud as I was gazing out to the sea thinking what meaning got my life now, what is even the purpose of living if I may die in my sleep one day or if I develop a brain tumor or a hematom as a result of the injury??
I always loved the sea but now am struggling to find relief in the things I used to miss and love the most.
I am honestly hoping all these are caused by anxiety and that there are no underlying conditions that would contribute to all this suffering.
Thanks for reading.