So the point is that since early childhood I have been exposed to lots of stress starting with a toxic relationship with my mother/family, no positive contact with my biological father. In my teenage years I have been studying music so that had me stressed out on a daily basis. Then the financial problems of my family, the findings about cheatings and stuff going on in my family, the inability to expres love towards my family, always arguing with each other.. Then the feeling of being worthless, hopeless, and that nobody cared for me.. I would feel alone and internalize everything I have been going for for like ages.. Then a relationship that during 5 years managed to become toxic, no support coming from my partner.. now I'm in the middle of a break up, not sure what to do. but that's not the biggest issue. Recently, my mom's been in a huge depression, and now it's happening again. THe sight of it is simply devastating for me since I cannot bear it all inside me.. and nobody would listen to me.
A year ago I started experiencing physical symptoms of anxiety.. Now they say its generalized anxiety + uncomfortable physical symptoms such as shortness of breath, palpitations, neck strain, headaches, pressure, etc.. And I have this fear that I might die of any pill or food I put into my mouth (since I'm allergic to many things), and the fear that I have an unknown disease(though the check-ups are fine), slighly increased sugar levels (though I consume very little sugar).. 2 months ago these symptoms started to calm down a bit.. but it seems that there happen things on a constant basis that are sweeping me off my feet such as my chickenpox now, my mother's depression a month ago, money issues.. and it's all having a toll on my physical and emotional health..
So the question is, can this recently developed anxiety be a build up of many years of stress (and especially recently lots of emotional tension that eventually led to emotional burn out)? Is it reparable? Can I recover from it? How to do it when so many things happen right now in my life that are simply making it even harder for me?
Can I get to being normal again?
I feel like everything's changed.. Even my reflection in the mirror, it's not the same anymore. There's no more sparkle in my eyes, only sadness and lots of tears... What to do to reclaim my life?
Sometimes during the day I might get those moments when I need to breathe deep because it seems that I have no air... how do I get over it?? please, help...t
tell me it's going to be fine..