Basically i have an anxiety disorder. And I'm literally tired of it. Sometimes I am really motivated to do stuff (because i usually don't, i just isolate myself and stay at home where i feel safe, yet my symptoms don't leave me even here), but then my worries hit me up and occupy my brain. Or while I am doing something, my symptoms intensify. I just want to run away from them? It basically feels as if i am hanging on a cliff (symbolizing me getting anxious), and someone is holding me with one hand only (my self control) and I don't know when that 'someone' is gonna let me go and I'm going to fall (have a panic attack, etc.) I have lost my friends, i have lost my ambitions, i have lost my hopes and talents. I'm pretty much dead. I can barely walk to school, and there I cannot concentrate, I have hard time moving from class to another.( I also stopped going on P.E class forever now, i'm glad my teacher understood that I am unable to) So that makes me unable to attend classes, or talk to people. It's just my anxiety and my symptoms all day every day non-stop for a year now. I tried everything possible. I tried therapy once, didn't help.I have tried pills and i'm still drinking them, no help. I tried going outside and not thinking about the symptoms (which naturally was really hard) It still didn't help. I'm getting sad thinking about how I lost all my precious friends who just a year ago I spent every day with having so much fun for hours daily, how happy I was to wake up, how I couldn't wait school to end so i can just go out with them. Or do stuff. Now the first thing when waking up is of course the symptoms and anxiety. The last thing before sleep (which i can even barely do) is anxiety. My whole day is anxiety. Not only it physically disabled me from going out like a normal human being, it screwed up my brain. It's blank. i was literally the best student, now I get C's and D's. I can't learn new stuff, it's as if i have reached my limit. I don't know anymore. Thanks for reading, and answering, I do really appreciate it. I hope you understand.
Also my symptoms which i thought would be a good idea to mention are: constant tiredness no matter how much i slept, dizziness, no energy, losing strength in arms and legs, really fast eye flashes, visual snow numbness in neck sometimes, tingling, headache sometimes and feeling pressure, and my newest symptoms are constant nausea (i can't even sleep because of it) and loss of appetite, and feeling unable to eat some foods.