Newbie

[gemp54]

Hi everyone, just a post as I'm a newbie. I've always been a worrier and a bit highly strung and there's a family history of depressions etc. I do tend to worry about things too much and need things to be organised and controlled but my real problems are medical related. As soon as I get anything that the doctors need to look into I convince myself its serious and i start to get serious anxiety over it. I had my second child 8months ago and since then I've been having problems with getting my periods back to normal. I've always been all over the place with that (and had a million tests) so I should have expected it. I've also had the common aches and pains and bad back that often comes after childbirth and then spending all day looking after a 3year old and an 8month old. The doctors have checked me for so much and all come up clear but as the problems haven't gone away (general bad back and spotting on and off but i've had the spotting on and off for donkeys years). The problem is that as soon as I read about another illness that could explain what I have I latch on to symptoms and almost convince myself that I have them. Its driving me mad and i know its crazy but I obsess over it! Just recently when I've been having a bad day worrying I've even been getting short of breath and dizzy. At first I put it down as another symptom that something was wrong but now I'm starting to think its a reaction to the anxiety like a panic attack because when it starts the more I think about it the worse it gets. I think it makes it worse because i'm still on maternity leave so although i'm manically busy my brain isnt as active as it normally is when i'm at work so I have more time to obsess and search the internet for answers only to stress myself out more. I've only just really admitted that i have anxiety issues so I find that in itself is helping but I really want to try and cope with this myself before I resort to a doctors visit. I know from experience that my local doctors are the type to just throw medication at it rather than try and solve the underlying issues. I'm not too sure there's a point to this post but I just needed to get it out! Xx

[boawoman]

I am so glad you found the courage (and the time as a mom of 2 young children) to find this site and post what is going on. My goodness, it is no wonder to me that you are anxious. You probably have a million things running through your head at any given time ... baby and youngster to take care of, house to take care of, RECOVERY time for your body etc. Someone told me once that it takes just as long to recover from having a child as it did to conceive - carry - and delivery that baby! You must allow yourself TIME for your body to recover ... gain back your "Normal" you. Everything that you mention makes sense when you sit back and take a deep breathe. Spotting, back pain - then add in the anxiety that you are feeling. Anxiety will make you believe that you have EVERYTHING AND ANYTHING wrong with you when, in fact, you just need recovery time from having a child ... so, that being said, don't be afraid to tell your doctor that you are having issues (that things bother you) ... you are trying very hard to get past them. You don't need to take drugs if you don't want to either. Take a few minutes when you are searching for symptoms on the internet and search for meditation cd's instead. Then listen ... you can usually listen right on your computer so you don't have to buy anything. Just close your eyes and listen for a few minutes when you can and as often as you can. And walk...just stroll around the house or the yard. Movement will help dispel so much anxiety. Be well and enjoy your children and the time you have to watch them grow. You can always speak with a close friend or someone you know that will just LISTEN. Not everyone has that skill! And keep posting here. Everyone on this site UNDERSTANDS and you will get great insight and support. Peace to you and be well. And try not to be afraid.

[gemp54 in reply to boawoman]

Thanks so much for your reply. Just having one reply on here from someone who understands makes me feel a little better and at least makes me feel like I'm not completely going mad! Good tip about relaxation cd's because from the moment I get up to the moment I go to bed i dont stop. That seems to mean I then process everything while I'm trying to sleep so I toss and turn and then wake up with an even stiffer back! Xx

[Hidden]

Stay off the internet! You are fine. Just anxiety. Don't give it the power. Enjoy those kiddos. I found when I became a mom, there is so much more to lose, that I worried more. Listen, we all have our dates, we can't escape that, but why worry everyday?? Live the life you have now. You may live to 102 and worried yourself for nothing. Live your life. Do it for those babies. Don't kill yourself 1,000 times when we only have to die once. You are too young to worry. Xx