Separation Anxiety

[SophiaPetrillo]

I began experiencing separation anxiety as a young child when my mother would leave for work. As an adult I often wondered why I would have such a hard time dealing with loss or separation. Now that I'm older, I've learned that part of it is the attachment that was formed with my parents for lack thereof. My father passed away when I was 6 years old. It was a pretty traumatic experience. Since I didn't grow up with a father figure obviously my mother was now gone a lot due to work I often felt lonely. I always had a immense feeling of dread whenever I would go through a breakup or sense someone was about to leave or pulling away from me.

As an adult began to exhibit clinginess in some of my relationships. It scared off a few people. Now it's more of a paranoia about being clingy because I don't want to scare off the next person. The thing is I can hide it most times, but when I am hiding it I am suffering on the inside and just want to scream. Each time you look up separation anxiety it usually lists kids. I don't understand why as an adult I still experience it. I hate it.

I started dating someone new about 6 months and he's wonderful, but we recently embarked on a long-distance relationship (temporarily) while he starts a business in a different state. One of the things that you're reminded of is anxiety is temporary and you should reframe your negative thoughts for positive ones. I've been trying to stay busy and to reach out to other people to keep me distracted but down time and first thing in the morning are the hardest.

So I joined this group tonight in order to vent in a safe space with maybe some other adults could relate. I'd like to break this cycle or at the very least shorten it. Tomorrow will be a new day and hopefully this feeling of dread and sadness would have gone away.

[TailWaggingDogs]

I can relate. My dad wasn't around much during my childhood, so I was very attached to my mom. When I went to college, my mom decided to move 8 hours away. This is when my depression started. I got to a point where I was physically hurting myself. When I finally broke down and told my mom what was going on, I learned that depression runs in both my parents' families. I started medication and therapy and it helped. I learned distractions like jigsaw puzzles really helped me. I also tried to stay busy and surround myself with people to try to feel less lonely. Though I could be with friends and still feel alone.

Fast forward, 8 years and I start struggling with anxiety. There are many life factors that play into this... Then, my husband left for a quick 3 day trip, and I felt so sick I couldn't get out of bed. I can't stand the thought of us ever being apart again. As much as I love my husband, this feeling doesn't feel healthy. I've increased my medication and gone back to therapy and it has helped but it hasn't gone away. I keep hoping it will go away.

Have you tried going to therapy? If you find the right therapist, it can be very helpful. Also, I don't think you should have to hid your feelings from your boyfriend. I understand not wanting to scare people away, but at some point you should be able to be your true self with all your imperfections. And if they get scared, then they aren't the right one for you. Stay strong.

[RedLikeMike]

I cant say I had separation anxiety but when i was younger i would have dreams of my family leaving me and i would wake up crying in the morning when my mom came to wake me up from school. For some reason i always have dreams of the people closest to me leaving me behind like when i was in 10th grade i had another dream where all my friends went on to the 11th grade and forgot about me. I think as ive gotten older i had to kind of train myself to be alone most of the time or at the very least learn to live on my own away from people.

[tiggra]

It may not go away, but you can manage it. Talk to friends, vent on here, and try to stay ad busy as you can. Don't be so hard on yourself.