I'm really sick. I woke up in the night with 39, 3 Celsius. I'm scared, vulnerable, not on myself and worried about mom saying i will infect

[Against_the_current]

Them are nd sis before school. I need care but best i have is no care. They will arrive tonight or tomorrow. I still don't know whether to tell mom. She will be upset. She doesn't want to take care of me or buy meds and doctors and will start pitying herself. But i kinda felt like i should tell her because they could stay at grandma's till i feel better. But it would ruin their vacation. I don't feel well. My time is over. Mom and sis will arrive today or tomorrow, mom's not at work and will be here all day. Then on 15th September my sister's school year begins and there will be screaming at 6am and throughout the night "Nadezhdah, make your sister study, she should be in bed by midnight" meanwhile my sister studying till 2am. They will be tired and sis also will start taking driving lessons and will be overwhelmed. I will be the one "doing nothing all day" (despite not having a single break and the emotional labour) and the trashbin and victim of the family. I should have gotten a job and moved out this week but im sick as hell. I see this as a sign - a few days alone and I'm sick as hell. I need to go to the pharmacy but I'm weak, sweaty, broke. The season change will bring seasonal depression, flu and colds, end of fun and responsibilities. I wish i went to that concert, at least to end the summer two days later but i couldn't get myself ready because im not good with that. Okay the point is I'm sick and im vulnerable and im scared i might say something wrong to mom and or here or anywhere. I woke up freezing. Then i woke up in cold sweat. Both times unwell, panicing and after nightmares. I need to get my mental health pill from the pharmacy and i will probably get more paracetamol but im so weak (my neck hurts like hell) , sweaty and i haven't changed my dressing for the season and all night nightmares about getting somewhere. I couldn't even get up to get a blanket, water and a paracetamol. I have plenty of analgin and wondering whether to buy paracetamol but if i can move, i might shoot it because i doubt mom would take care of me or buy it for me without taking my soul out. I'm terrified. I'm terrified

[BlueSkyWhiteCloud]

I was on meds for 14 years I’ve take so many different meds I can’t remember all off them. I finally had enough and stopped taking them. Which has been an absolute nightmare. Good luck! Meds didn’t work for me and actually hurt me financially with the hundreds of dollars for a 5 minute talk with sketchy people just to get a refill.

[Against_the_current in reply to BlueSkyWhiteCloud]

Oh shii 😭

[hypercat54]

Not sure why your mum has to take care of you at 24? Or has to buy your meds?

[Alpakka123]

I'm sorry you're sick and hope you feel better soon. Drink plenty of fluids.