and how it takes all our time and energy. how it supports an indecent excuse for having terrible levels of mental health deficiency and an incapacity to focus on things that really matter to us; how that matters because we can then relate to people. not blaming people with mental health needs, but the lack of effective infrastructure in supporting folks.
the double-edged sword of being multiply marginalized while still being expected, and encouraged, to care about my/your life, the relationships we have, and the goals we want to achieve-- this goes hand-in-hand with the accountability oppressive people must take for their harms. how am i not in kudos with those who oppress if i let my traumatized self go unchecked? i, and we, cannot make excuses for that. the double-edged sword of having to create boundaries with those who would rather suffer than experience a less painful sense of self and existence. how the suffering takes hold of your every fiber. the simultaneous pain of acting and existing in your traumatized self that doesn't fully understand the depths of your need for help. no passes can be given for the harms that capitalism has caused: wage/class inequality, racism, islamophobia, anti-semitism, transphobia, etc.
the level of strength it takes to exist in certain spaces, and in this world, and desire for something that uplifts life and happiness.