Nobody understands it

[sad_watermelon]

Hi, in my 2 previous posts I explained with more details everything, but in short, there is a person who gives me positive and negative feelings. Everybody tells me to let go this friendship, but nobody understands that those positive things are making me function well. Without hugs and a person to talk to, I go into depression and anxiety and I don't talk to anyone, just because I am afraid. Now I am sometimes afraid to talk to him to. I only care when my closest people judge me and he does it quite a lot. I don't know what to do. I don't want to cut contact, but I'm also tired of feeling down because of him...

[BlueAgave]

In my opinion, I think you would benefit from therapy to work on finding tools to help yourself. Getting through the tough times comes from within yourself, not other people. We do look for support in others, but it's not always available and so we need to look to ourselves to feel better.

This person is not giving you the support you need and in turn is making you feel worse. It's time to let go. Time to learn the skills to become the beautifully independent person you deserve to be. You are about to embark on a wonderful journey of going to school in another country, learn new things, make new friends. This is your time to shine. Don't let him bring you down. You're worth so much more. 💕

[blackcat64013]

Hi, I'm with BlueAgave 100%.

We can't change people but we can change how we personally think and feel.

The tools to develop this skill are found in therapy sessions and self-help books, blogs and websites.

Ideally, you will come up with a plan . . when he does this, I will do that.

Secondly, you will have a better understanding of your thinking process.

Good luck, 🐈‍⬛

[CLB1125]

IM sorry you are dealing with this. My husband finds fault with everything I do. He’s my biggest source of my depression/anxiety. But after 41 years together, I know him and can usually dodge his BS! It depends on how I handle him. Some days it rips me to the heart but other times he will do something nice. Im starting to say what I am thinking and it takes the wind out of his sails. It depends on what level of depression Im in. I can tell first thing in the morning what kind of a mood he’s in. So I can arm myself and protect my feelings. I try to put the shields up so the hurt can’t get in. We really have to feel sorry for all the ones that we love that treat us this way. How insecure they must be to feel they have to hurt the people that care about them. If you don’t want to end the relationship then you have to find a way to keep the mean things out. Learning his ways. For example, when my husband gets nasty I know he’s probably in pain. He won’t tell me he’s in pain ever, but now I know and I can plan how I will avoid him or confront him, depending on what my depression level is. Therapists can help you arm yourself for these battles. I hope I made sense.