living in constant fear/ hypochondria.

[MandyBueno]

hello everyone! Posting here mainly cause it is catharsis to me. These past few days has been a challenge. Since moving to America 🇺🇸 I have been facing some stomach issues, like bloating, Gerd and horrible stomach pains ( mainly at night). Having a bad gut health has made my anxiety worse. I have no sleep, and am in constant pain. I ended up in the ER a week ago and they prescribed me some meds but I feel frustrated. I love America but man food here is junk lol. Anyways, if anyone suffers from the same issue please feel free to let me know. You are not alone. As I type this the clock says 4:32 in the morning, I’ve been awake since 2 am. Anyways thought I’d write on here. So, besides all the pain, I have been noticing a pattern of fear. I’m not gonna lie, since being a kid I was always very afraid. I was afraid of losing my parents, getting sick, etc… I remember being at the beach once with my family and my only thought was: what if we all die now? …like, other kids weren’t worried about that. My dad said that every time someone wasn’t feeling good, or fainted, he immediately had to remove me from the room, cause I’d go into complete panic mode. Soo, yeah, being afraid is a big part of my personality. I hate that though! Recently I have been noticing I have been extra afraid. I’m terrified of driving, and I became terrified of flying too. I know fear is a mechanism we all have that can be good and can keep us safe. But in my case it is so disruptive. I’ve missed out on learning how to ride a bike, learning how to swim, learning how to ski mainly because of fear. I missed out on trips, because of flying. I missed out on riding a roller coaster… I am in constant fear all the time. And on top of that I am a hypochondriac. THIS KILLS ME! I’ve spent so much money on expensive, invasive procedures at the doctors office cause I was trying to get things ruled out. As of now, I am in pain. My head will always go to the extremes, I make up all sorts of diseases in my mind. Unlike most people that just moves on, to me, this is not a possible. I have to dig deeper, google symptoms and then spiral. I literally have self diagnosed me with all sorts of cancer, diabetes, unwanted pregnancies, heart issues, pancreatitis, kidney failure, PCOS and the list goes on…. All of this illusion had to be ruled out by an actual doctor, otherwise I wouldn’t be able to rest. and as soon as something gets ruled out by the doctor and I have a moment of relief, it’s just a matter of time for me to come up with something again. I am so tired of this. I am tired of living in constant fear.

[blackcat64013]

Hi MandyBueno,Thank you for your post and welcome to your forum.

The move seems to have triggered a big stress response which has physical and emotional symptoms 🤔

In the USA you can 24/7 dial 988 for mental health issues. It's the equivalent of 911 for emergencies.

The ADAA which is a partner association with Health Unlocked, is a good local resource.

If you go to the State government website, you can find more local health information.

You have support from everyone here as you settle into life in the States. 🐈‍⬛

[BlueAgave]

Welcome MandyBueno! And welcome to the US. I'm sure the stress of moving has probably added to your anxieties, and yes our food is 💩 But you have many grocery stores in which to find fresh, non processed foods too. I hope you can find some comfort here. Chat anytime and feel well. ❤️

[Agora1]

Hi MandyBueno, good to see you back on.

You know, fear like you have (and I did too) stems back from my childhood where too

much emphasis was put on being sick. "Do this or you will get sick" "Don't do that or

you will get sick" My dad always took off work if my mom or one of us kids got real

sick. When I was a young adult, I could always count on my dad being at the hospital

when anyone of us had to be admitted. Sometimes we can be overprotected with love.

I realized this as I went on my own. I had become a hypochondriac as the term anxiety

wasn't really talked about much. Type A behavior, that was me.

With understanding how and why things happen to us later in life, we start to realize

that we were taught fear of everything when we were young.

We were sensitive as children and coddled to a point in not growing emotionally.

At least this was true for me. I hope your fears subside one day and you can start

feeling free to enjoy your life. Sending you my best Mandy. xx