It's like riding a super fast rollercoaster....this depression and anxiety road. Some days the highs are exhilarating and you feel hopeful. And then there are other days that dip so low, you can't get out of bed.
Today is one of those low days.
The job search is quite discouraging. It's difficult enough getting hired when you're 50+. It's eedven worse when you're 70 years old, believe me! They think you have 10 minutes to live or that you're mentally disabled. Well, I am neither. I have 48 years of experience, mostly in the construction industry. I worked as a CFO, Operations Manager and Project Manager. Although I no longer climb ladders and get up on the roof, my brain is still quite sharp and I can run rings around the 20 year old workers. In the month I've been unemployed, I have probably sent out over 50 resumes and not a single bite. I'm getting nervous because unemployment is only for 26 weeks and I still need to work.
And then I researched any benefits I qualify for, such as SSI, Affordable Housing, etc. Nope! I earn too much through Social Security. How on earth do they think that $1,900 is the max income limit and rents are $2,500+ Never mind the other expenses involved in normal living! How is a senior citizen in the middle class supposed to survive? And especially if they are totally alone. There is no point in panicking, but honestly....I am scared. And let's not even mention "family." I have none. As long as I served a purpose, it was all good. And once that ended, so did our relationship. People really do suck sometimes.
And lastly, there's the situation with my ex-employer. He fired me for potential wrong doing and threatened to have me arrested, however he didn't provide any proof and documentation. My high priced lawyer reached out to their lawyer a week ago and so far.....no reply. Do they think it's funny to play with people like that? I can't get a reference for the 2 years I worked there and I have been made aware that he is bad mouthing me to everyone. How is that right?
All in all, I'm a bundle of nerves. Waiting until August 1st. to file Chapter 7, hoping that I can buy my car when the lease is up in July and just struggling to survive. Yes, I believe in God and pray regularly. I just can't get a break.....ever!
I keep trying everything I know, but like I said...today is a bad day and I'm feeling a bit hopeless.
Thanks for listening as always!
Written by
Stillstanding53
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I'm so sorry that you're having such a bad day. I can understand your fear because unemployment runs out after 26 weeks that happened to me and then I lost my place to live and now I live in my sister's basement. I took out my deferred compensation during my unemployment and that's all exhausted and I also took out my pension and I'm planning to buy a house with my husband in Florida very soon. But as they say money doesn't grow on trees and I'm going to have to work until at least 62 maybe even longer like you in my 70s. I would like a job anyway because keeping busy keeps the depression at bay a lot of the time. Do you get any sort of pension of have money on in investments that could tide you over? Wishing you the best of luck and hope you get a job soon. I currently work at a daycare center at 54 and Have to pick the kids up change them and other things that sometimes break my back LOL. I only make $18 an hour and she doesn't give me full time hours just past part-time but it's all I can get for now. I had another job offer for a case manager but they made me jump through hoops and I should be leaving Pennsylvania by September so why bother at this point getting another job you know what I mean. I might as well stay where I'm at and just keep asking for more hours. Wishing you peace and well-being. Hang in there this too shall pass.
Thanks for your email. Unfortunately I don't have any pension and whatever I did have as a cushion was used for experimental treatments for my 3rd. bout with lung cancer. Not all of it was covered by my insurance and the out of pocket expense was quite a bit. I guess that's why I'm nervous. Also, there is nobody that is going to help me at all. I think I previously mentioned that to you also. Sometimes I feel like this is the end of the road. I wish I could look forward to a fresh start like you're able to, but sadly that's not in the hand I've been dealt. I surely hope some kind of job comes along or I get a break somewhere. Thanks again.
I sure hope things turn around for you too. I don't blame you for being nervous I'd be the same way. I'll be saying prayers for you that God carries you through this tough time. Let us know how you make out with everything OK. Take care of yourself and keep the faith.
I’ve read your posts and am sorry things are so hard for you. Please know for what it’s worth you are not alone as I’m older as well and going through a lot of the same things you are. Finding a job right now is near impossible. I don’t know if it will ever happen.
Also my expenses are more than what comes in. I’ve researched options for low income people and while I’ve found a few, they don’t provide much support at all. I really don’t know how senior citizens are making it these days. I’ve thought about taking in a roommate but that’s a hard choice as well especially at this age. Finally while I do have a few friends and family I find that they’re much more interested in themselves than anything I’m going through.
I’m glad to hear your ex-employer has backed off. It seems like he was trying to bully or intimidate you. It’s really good that you have a lawyer helping you through this. Hopefully that situation is over so you can focus on the more important things.
I hope things lighten up for you. In the meantime keep us posted on how things are going. We all care!
Thank you so very much for your kind email. It does seem as if many of us are in the same boat. Do you know what one potential employer said to me? "Your experience, education and background is impressive, but you should think about doing the same thing as old horses. Go out to pasture and graze for your remaining time on earth." Can you believe the nerve? It is very discouraging. And what's even more unfortunate is how middle class senior citizens are overlooked in this country. We have worked for most of our lives. Why do we have to pay for medicare? And benefits that are available to us are non-existent. If you are one person and your SS check is over $1,900 monthly, you can't get any assistance to speak of. However, my next dooor neighbor who is 36 years old with 3 kids by her boyfriend, who also lives there, has a combined income of $150K and they have an Affordable Housing apartment and pay only $500.00 monthly. Why? Because after getting certified 10 years ago HUD never comes back to see if their income has changed. How crazy is that? So they're wearing designer clothes and driving new cars while I struggle to pay my rent which is 5 times more than they pay. How is that right at all.
And don't get me started with family. I'm invisible to any remaining family members. In fact, one of them told me..."I don't care if you sleep on the street in a cardboard box." What kind of person says that to someone in trouble?
For now, my ex-employer is at a standstill because my lawyer asked for proof of his claim. I just have to wait and see and figure out how I'm going to continue paying the legal fees
All in all, it's heart attack waiting to happen, as I'm sure you know.
I have only been out of work for a little over a month now. How about you? Do you panic about what happens when all resources are dried up? I certainly do.
It does help having this forum to communicate with people and I've found a lot of kindness and compassion.
I hope you are hanging in there as best as you can and I will try to do the same!
I cannot believe the employer had the nerve to say that to you! I would have been so mad I would have ended the discussion right then and there. How can people be so cruel??
I so totally agree with everything you say! I have paid my dues yet am struggling so hard to get by. I get so little assistance because they claim my SS is too high yet I can hardly pay my bills. And nobody seems to care while others are raking in the assistance. I too see large groups of people living in subsidized housing with expensive vehicles I could never hope to own. Not to mention the amount of Amazon and other store packages they get delivered each day. What am I doing wrong? Or is it just that I’m a senior citizen and for the most part invisible as I’m no longer useful?
Why does your family not care? How can they be so mean? Family is who we should always be able to count on even though mine is no better. They don’t hate me, they just ignore me. One as bad as the other.
Well hopefully the ex-employer will back off. But like you said it’s hard retaining the lawyer when the fees are so high. It’s good you have one though.
Yes I absolutely panic about when all the resources dry up. Not quite sure what I’m going to do. I cut back as much as I can but it still isn’t enough. I sometimes try to tell family/friends what I’m going through but they don’t react or offer any suggestions, they don’t care.
It all makes my depression and anxiety so much worse. I’m a wreck 24/7 but don’t know what to do.
It helps though to have a forum such as this and know that I’m not the only one. I’m hoping we can help each other. If you come up with any ideas out of this dilemma please let me know and I will do the same. In the meantime the least we can do is support each other.
Oh my! Your situation mirrors mine almost exactly. Even the mention of Amazon packages!!! If it wasn't so sad, it would be funny. And you're right, we seem to be invisible.
As for my family, well here is the short version. I have one sister who is 2 1/2 years younger. I always had her back and she always had a knife in mine. Very selfish, manipulative and a true narcissist. When she was going through her divorce, I was always there for her. In fact, I loaned her $25K to pay for her lawyer. And when I asked her to start repaying the loan, she told me to sue her. I emailed her about my current situation because she changed all her phone numbers. I sent her several emails explaining how desperate I was. No reply at all. The same with a 1st. cousin. And I have a stepbrother who makes Bill Gates look like a pauper. He's the one who told me to sleep on the street. Another sanctimonious and judgmental person. Very toxic people.
I wish I could offer some suggestions because I am also in panic mode 24/7. I try to stay busy and make sure I get out of bed every single day. I search for a job online, probably 3-4 hours daily. I also write in a journal as well. Though lately I have not felt inspired. I have a lot of trouble sleeping and perhaps you do as well.
To be honest, the only comfort I find lately is coming onto this website and communicating with kind people, and you are certainly one of them!
If I come up with any suggestions, I will certainly let you know. Until then, please know I am thankful for your friendship. 💜
It’s funny, all is well and fine with family and friends until money enters the picture. It’s easier to get mad at you than to have to pay it back. What is especially sad though is that’s it’s your sister. I think its good that you reached out to family but I’m sorry it turned out so poorly. I guess you know where you stand with them now. Have you had any further contact or are you completely done with them?
It sounds like you are doing all the right things to keep yourself mentally healthy which is really good. Don’t let it all get you down even though I know that’s easier said than done. I try to set small goals for myself every day and if I get just one thing accomplished it’s a good day.
Good luck on the job search, I know it’s hard especially at our older age. Are you still looking to work full time or would part time work? I’ve been retired for a while but now that inflation has hit I can’t afford my monthly bills anymore so I’m looking too. Haven’t had any luck though.
I’ll keep looking for your posts, let us know how you’re doing. I guess all we can do is get through one day at a time, hope it’s a good one for you.
Thanks again for your email. I really should have know better than to reach out to the people I did. I was just thinking that perhaps the years might have softened them a bit. I was totally wrong and no, I am now 100% done. I have enough to deal with and I don't need toxic people in my life.
Inflation has also hit me hard as well and I'm looking for full time work. It's quite a task. And you're right, I try to find at least a couple of things to do each day so I can feel that I accomplished something. It is indeed a struggle, but I'm not one to give up, give in or back down until I know for sure there are no other options.
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