Health anxiety crisis

[Newby4201]

The anxiety I have been living with, and mostly ignored in my younger years, has worsened in my later years, and has taken hold of my life. If I only had access to the information they have today about anxiety and major depressive disorder, I may have spared myself the suffering I am experiencing today. I have been in crisis for the past 10 months. I have suffered a laundry list of anxiety symptoms; I am on my 9th symptom. This one has pushed me from depression to major depression. I've never felt this bad before, I'm depressed because of the anxiety symptoms. This one is very frightening to me. I've given myself so many illnesses (RLS, Fibro, MS etc...) and convinced myself that I will have to live with them. I can't live with this one if it decides to stay, so I fear for my life. 😰 I don't think anyone cares about me, my husband doesn't take me seriously when I say I want to go to sleep and not wake up. He leaves me alone and doesn't listen when I am talking, he is on FB. I don't want to die I want to live but having anxiety & major depression is not living it is existing in a place where you are tortured every day. I try to remember when I felt happiness, but it seems like such a distant past because anxiety & the symptoms it caused has taken me down so far, it's hard to look up and see daylight. I tried so hard to climb out of this hole without taking meds. I did therapy, meditated, exercised, practiced Wu Wei, prayed, ate healthy, took supplements and yet here I am needing to start meds. I feel like more of a failure now than ever before. This country isn't helping any it is a UGLY place to be right now with all of the hate, it makes you not want to be here. 😪

[b1b1b1]

You are not a failure for taking meds. In fact it means you are doing something active and aggressive to deal with your anxiety.

[Newby4201 in reply to b1b1b1]

Thank you, I appreciate you!

[Summer95]

I relate to all of this. I have suffered from anxiety since a teenager and it’s got worse recently along with severe depression. I’m miserable rn and just want a way out or to just be happy and content in my life. know you’re not alone and there is nothing wrong with taking medication it might really help you. I been thinking about admitting myself again.

[Newby4201 in reply to Summer95]

Thank you for understanding. I believe I need to admit myself for my own safety, I'm just concerned that the meds will make the depression worse before it gets better. However, I am going to begin by trying to be positive because my frame of mind will make a difference in how the meds will interact. Please take care of yourself and do whatever you need to do get better! I wish you the best!

[Newby4201]

Thank you for your support!

[Shield_Of_Faith]

I'm sorry your struggling with so much. I do hope things get better! I don't think your a failure. I see a person trying their absolute best with the issues your facing and I hope you don't give up. I know it's easier said then done but I do hope for the best! I to struggle with overwhelming anxiety so I understand that. Just continue to try your best day by day. I do believe good things can happen at any moment as long as we hang in there, again I know way easier said then done! I hope things get better soon!🙏

[Newby4201 in reply to Shield_Of_Faith]

I have lived with anxiety for a long time, but depression is new to me, and it feels like CRAP! It makes it harder for me to overcome the anxiety symptoms because I no longer have the strength or hopefulness. Thank you for the encouragement and support!

[Shield_Of_Faith in reply to Newby4201]

Yeah I struggle with depression also.I get very down at times and I would lack the motivation or drive to be strong.

I understand and I'm sorry that it's been very tough but I hope you hang in there.

No problem at all! I just hope for the best for you!