Fragile, broken, and tired

[Frogeyes]

It’s been over a month now that I got laid off from work. I feel the pressure everyday, every moment. I’ve applied to a ton of really good jobs but nothing. I feel that I’ll have to settle for something that will make me hate. I told myself that I had to have a job before October. I have never had a panic attack last so long til now. I can’t wait till I get to take my meds and then worry about the next 10 hrs til my next dosage that evening . I can remember before anxiety and I took everything for granted, what a fool I was to think that it would continue.

Good ole menopause threw me into panic attacks. so I’m relatively new to this crap. I was a very strong, resilient, independent women that now I don’t even recognize myself. I can’t seem to even be alone now without freakin out. I’m on meds that I thought were working before I lost my job but now they aren’t. I’m embarrassed to ask for more meds. I don’t want to disappoint my husband anymore than I already have. He isn’t one for meds, head doctors or meditation. I keep telling myself that I will eventually find a job and then hopefully I can settle down a bit. I keep saying that this too shall pass but it’s not working. I’m so tired of it all. So tired

I hate to be a downer. I hope everyone can make the best of their day 😌

[LoveforAll41]

Hi Frogeyes, no need to be sorry for expressing your emotions. I am sorry that you are still on the job hunt, financial stress is about the worst thing for my self-esteem. I don't know that you need to have a job by October unless you know that there is a job you can get somewhere? I do try to comfort myself sometimes that if I crap out of my job I could get a couple of jobs working in production and bide my time until I can get something better.

I absolutely love head doctors... is your husband going to be angry if you go? I think medication and therapy is the best shot for recovery. I think that meditation can take a lot of different forms such as walking, journaling, art, etc. I wish you peace, hope, and strength.

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What does your husband have against these treatment options? I dated someone like that, I would hear "just cheer up!" It taught me to picture walking in someone else's shoes, or else shut up....come here for support then!