anxiety

[MananaBanana]

my biggest issues in life is prolly anxiety. It’s like I’m addicted to my thoughts and I’m constantly stuck in my head. I also feel safe into mind so it’s hard to leave. I have a tendency to overthink things and it’s negatively impacting my life. Help?

[Nothing_but_books]

That's really hard, to feel safe in your mind, but your mind is betraying you with anxiety.

Is there anything you do that distracts you completely for a time from the obsessive thoughts?

I respond well to voices. If I put on an audiobook I enjoy it helps.

Keep writing here. Getting your feelings out where you'll be heard helps.

[MananaBanana in reply to Nothing_but_books]

Safe isn’t the best word: I feel safer in my mind/I feel safer overthinking than not. Like, what if I don’t think and I miss something that can harm me? For me, thinking is about assessing potential threats. I’m also afraid of the unknown, so I have a habit of over analyzing things. Thinking about things too much. It shows up in the interactions with others, I’m beginning to realize. I wish I could just chill, but I feel safer doing what I’m doing.

And mindfulness is helpful. Simply being, so to speak, with the present moment

[Ellamaye in reply to MananaBanana]

So your anxiety is about your own safety?

[MananaBanana in reply to Ellamaye]

I’m still exploring what else my anxiety is about, but my safety is a large part of it. Most of the anxiety I deal with is social, and I have this tremendous fear of criticism. Like, I always think someone is critiquing me. A lot of times I think I’m doing something wrong, like I’m walking wrong, sitting wrong, speaking weirdly, etc. it’s hard for me to build confidence when I think I’m always doing something wrong. Additionally, a lot of times, I think people think I’m weird and awkward, so it causes me to tense up a lot and behave. . . weird and awkwardly. Self-fulfilling prophecy. I feel inadequate, and as a result, I withdraw socially

[Ellamaye in reply to MananaBanana]

That must be so hard to deal with I really feel for you i literallyavoidthinkingaboutmyself. I dont know how i do that i project My anxiety its about my loved ones always imagining something bad happening to them. Constant worry and constantly trying to forsee the danger ahead and intervene somehow. Failing that just panic until I'm proved wrong time and time again

[Ellamaye in reply to MananaBanana]

If only I had rational answers for my own problem lol. But as an outsider to yours I wish I could change your thinking to who cares what these people think? Noone is normal and their opinions don't matter anyway x

[MananaBanana in reply to Ellamaye]

a big reason I care what people think is that I am afraid of disconnection (I say this as someone who’s already isolated. ) I spent a lot of my childhood to myself. I wanted greater connections, but my folks were overbearing, so I wasn’t able to connect with my peers as much as I’d like. The fear for me is to behave in a way that foster disconnection from others, leaving me as that some isolated kid. I think I always yearned for greater connection, so I obsess over anything that can threaten connection

[Ellamaye in reply to MananaBanana]

I kind of get it do you have other strong connections? To parents or people who are supposed to love you unconditionally? Is it just peers your worried about ?... I have similar issues but in a different way... it was the people who were supposed to love me unconditionally that left throughout childhood and adulthood for me. Something I obsessed about for a very long time. Thinking it must be me! Like you think it must be you!

I'm guessing your a typical person some people will like you other people won't but you don't sound any kind of strange to me so hopefully it's just a perception thing and an over worry x

[MananaBanana in reply to Ellamaye]

The most important connections in my life are fine. I was always worried about my peers. I read somewhere that social anxiety stems, at least in part, from an overbearing home, which makes sense in my case. But, yeah, I was always overly concerned about what strangers and my peers thought about me and whether or not they believed I was/am normal. But, yes, no one’s really normal. Normal is a myth, really. I’ve had a hard time being myself and doing my own thing because I was/am always concerned with normalcy. But I’m beginning to understand I’m concerning myself with a myth; I’m fine, but I think I was stressing myself by trying to meet a standard of what I believed other people would believe to be normal, when, in fact, I have no idea about the details of people’s standards. I thought it would be more acceptable to be someone else instead of myself, which, as I think about it when I type this, is sad. This seems childish the more I talk about it, and I’m glad I have the space to talk about it here, because I was too embarrassed to talk about it in the past. I realize that tI’m stressing myself out with my inaccurate perceptions.

And I’m sorry you dealt with what you dealt with. It sounds painful, to say the least. I can’t imagine how painful. Sending you support.

[Ellamaye in reply to Nothing_but_books]

Same

[Ellamaye]

Are you on meds? They actually do help is why I'm asking

[MananaBanana in reply to Ellamaye]

I am not, but I’m open to them

[Ellamaye in reply to MananaBanana]

I had some antiperspirants for a while they did nothing but then my doc put me on 15mg mirtazapine. Helped me sleep for a while and maybe helped with other symptoms not sure yet

[Hidden]

I'm the same exact way. I'm in my head for most of the day. I also overthink endlessly. I usually try to distract myself to help.

I know what you mean though.

I would like to share with you a therapist on youtube (Emma) that has helped me immensely, youtube.com/@TherapyinaNuts...

She offers really useful tips and information especially with anxiety.

Hugs

[MananaBanana in reply to Hidden]

I appreciate your comment and I appreciate you for sending my this therapist. I’ve watched several of her videos and she is great. I wish I encountered her sooner, but I’m glad I have now

[Hidden in reply to MananaBanana]

Oh good to hear! She's pretty awesome and knows what she's saying. 🙏✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️