Hello - just needed to talk

[nomadcat]

Hi. I didn’t know who the turn to. So I thought this would be a good idea.

The past few years, there’s been a lot change in my life, I know. I thought I was fine with it all. But the last year, I’ve been feeling different . The last few months, I wake up feeling dreadful and unenthusiastic about everything. I’m a freelancer and also have a small business. My work ethic has deteriorated. I feel tired all the time, and I’ve been isolating myself more and more.

I don’t feel happy, but up until now, I wasn’t sure that I unhappy either. I didn’t know what I felt. Numb and tired maybe? Then my business partner sent me a number of texts, complaining that I am not pulling my weight. Some of which I understand. I know I’ve been unable to do as much as I could, and I can’t seem to explain why.

I feel just as confused about it myself. I used to be known for being a hard worker. I would put in everything I had. Now, I feel like everything is a struggle. I now feel useless - like I should be able to “snap out it” but I can’t.

After the texts, something else happened. I felt overwhelmingly unhappy. In a way I’ve never felt before. It’s visceral. I couldn’t eat my meal, I burst into tears. And I don’t know what to do with this feeling. I’m afraid it won’t go away. Or it will keep happening.

I’m hoping just putting it out there will help. And to give you all a big hug, because looking on here has made me think so much more than I have before. I feel like this space may give me more perspective on what is happening.

xxx

[Marysblue]

You just described every symptom of depression. Are you on any medications? Could you talk to your doctor? There are natural antidepressants too. look them up online. you can buy otc.

[nomadcat in reply to Marysblue]

Hi Marysblue,

Thank you for replying.

I spoke to a doctor, who put me on HRT, which I think helped a little. He didn’t offer any medication. Seemed to think I didn’t need it. But then our communication was strained. There was a bit of a language barrier. I’m also in a country where therapy is not really covered by insurance, especially in my language (English). I’m looking into private therapy, and at the moment I can’t afford it. Still getting over the hump of, you know, admitting I might actually need help.

You are right, though. I should also look into natural meds, too. I’ll do that today.

Thank you x

[Thankfulforhelp22]

keep looking for help and things that make you feel better or content. Just like physical health we sometimes need help with the mental side. You can’t do it alone just like you couldn’t do your own surgery or fix a broken bone.