anxiety illness

[Cimmy]

well here I am again feeling like absolute rubbish. I’ve being doing ok and was hoping my anxiety had settled down since my diagnosis of blood clot in lungs. It’s been 5 weeks and I feel so bad. I walked to the school yesterday to pick up my granddaughter and nearly passed out and then walk home with her was horrendous. I felt like my legs wouldn’t work and I was sweating profusely, I was so scared for her and myself. I got home and went straight to bed. I have just got up and I feel like I can’t cope, I have to collect her today and I don’t think I can do it. But if I don’t then she had no one else to pick her up. I can’t breath and I’m shaking, don’t know what brought this on and how to deal with it. WHY OH WHY is this happening. I don’t really know what to expect writing this but I need to do something to bring me down from this attack, that’s what it feel like, I’m being attacked. How am I going to deal with this agai. I just want to be normal. Why can’t I be normal and enjoy my life. I’m slowly drowning. Thank you for reading, I don’t expect any responses as this post doesn’t really make any sense but never does my life at the moment. Take care everyone

[012703060610]

I am so sorry for how you are feeling and that you are dealing with major physical medical issues too. Anxiety creeps in and it is so disturbing because we can't ever seem to predict. Meeting commitments has been the hardest thing for me for about 3 years. I have physical health issues that have extreme limitations. Now it appears I am agoraphobic. I get to my Drs most of the time, but I have not done anything for myself in months. I'm working on self care and not really doing very well with it. I 100% understand the fear of getting your grand daughter later today. When I have to pick up my own kids, I am fearful I won't get there. It is really awful. If another person says Mind Over Matter to me, I may scream. I recently got sick with COVID and missed all school year end activities and at the time, I was actually relieved. There was so much going on, I needed to at least get the bare minimum done. However, each kid seemed to have an event at school each day. I made it to one for Mother's Day here and that was it. Now I'm sad I missed it all weeks later. I just want you to know I understand. As the clock keeps passing I'm sure your worrying increases. Is there anyone that can walk with you? Neighbor? I know I don't have the answers but appreciate fully how difficult of a situation you are in. You are in my thoughts.

[Cimmy in reply to 012703060610]

hi and thank you for your kind reply, I’m sorry you too are going through what I can only describe as a nightmare, I used to be such a positive person and the mainstay of the family and now I’m just a shell, I’ve tried to overcome my anxiety but like you said it does creep up on you and then BANG it hit you so bad. I am getting more and more anxious about going on the school run, I don’t think I can do it, my husband will have to get her, he is not very understanding I’m afraid, he is definitely one of those pull your self together people and he just gets angry and frustrated with me. I’m frustrated myself and like you I just want to scream walk in my shoes for a day and see how it feels. I wish you health and peace, there is a light at the end of the tunnel ( or so I’m told). Take care and thank you again, you are very kind to think of me .

[Cimmy]

hi and thanks for your kind reply, I’m on blood thinners for my blood clots but I must say I feel scared right now and I suffer from really bad anxiety so that is just adding to my symptoms. I’m resting now but if things don’t improve I shall go and get checked at A&E, I think the weather being so hot hasn’t helped. I have thought about a mobility scooter and may well rent one for a while until I’m more steady on my feet. Take care.