Anticipatory Anxiety

[Augi711]

I've battled with anxiety from time to time over the past 20 years. Last July sparked a major "episode" for me and I've been riding a rollercoaster ever since. Medication and therapy have helped tremendously, my anxiety is much more manageable. The one thing I find is that my anxiety lingers under the surface, just enough to make me feel uncomfortable. This really frustrates me because I've really done a lot of worked and made a lot of progress but can seem to consistently stay over the hump. It's one of those things where I wonder if it will go on forever or if this is the new norm for me, something I'm just going to have to deal with. I don't like the thought of either. This feeling can also make me feel a little depressed and just not myself. Of course, these are things I bring to my therapist but I'm reaching out for support. I'm hoping to hear from others about their battles, successes, and triumphs. Thank you for the time and I appreciate your thoughts.

[EndUser13]

Welcome to the forum and congratulations on your progress!

[SRNM]

This is exactly how I feel too. I am trying my best to manage my anxiety and depression through medication, exercise and hobbies. But my anxiety is always there, lurking in a corner. I just have to live it, I guess.

[Greyhoundmommy]

Welcome! I’m with you there - my anxiety is 95% under control, but I know that if I miss my meds or if I find myself in a severe triggering situation it’ll make an appearance again. I know it’s always there under the surface, but I’ve learned to live with it.

What was helpful for me was changing my relationship with my anxiety, so that I no longer am angry or frustrated at it, but able to see it for what it is with compassion & understanding. This really helps in those times when I feel it coming on, to calm it down and release it before it becomes an attack.

[Augi711 in reply to Greyhoundmommy]

I'm really working on focusing on changing my relationship as well. I too become angry and frustrated..."why am I dealing with this?"" why is my mind being so weak?" I know I need to change my relationship and understand that this is something I am living with and will probably live with to an extent for the rest of my life. For me, I'm trying to understand the end goal is not to get rid of my anxiety but to be able to live with it in a healthy way that doesn't get in the way of my interactions with the people most important to me.

I'm just in a place where I'll feel "like myself" then it's like I'm watching the world through my eyes but have trouble being present because I can feel the anxiety lingering.

Any other in sight or suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Did you by chance read anything that resonated with your thoughts of changing your relationship? Thanks for your time!

[Kinlay]

One thing I find helps is to imagine the worst - and what I'd do if that happened. In my experience, when I do that, I have a plan in place, which makes me feel more secure, but in reality I never have to use those plans. Then if I feel anxious, I remind myself of the plan. It doesn't take the anxiety away, but it does make it more manageable.

[Lve2dance]

I can empathize. My anxiety was never really a thought until a few years ago when things really changed for the whole world. And things are better now pandemic wise, but my anxiety it's always lingering. And I Am My Own Worst Enemy. I never felt like a weak person, but I feel guilty for having this which is ridiculous. Being on this forum everybody is so supportive, there for each other. And that is a beautiful thing

[Tealpillow in reply to Lve2dance]

Same here. The pandemic (and open racism in America) set off some very weird inconsistent and confusing emotions for me. I have relapsed mentally in many ways and it’s soooooo lame 😒

[Lve2dance in reply to Tealpillow]

I am here if you ever want to talk/message

[Augi711 in reply to Lve2dance]

I get down on myself and think of myself as weak when I ride a big wave of anxiety. I do you reshape your thoughts?

[Lve2dance in reply to Augi711]

My therapist definitely helped. And she reminded me of how much I've been through not mentally but physically in my life and that I'm stronger than I give myself credit for. And even though imperfect, I have friends and most family that accept me for everything

[CL3V3R-G1RL]

Ugh I have done many battles with this foe ⚔️

Sometimes I win and other times it gets the better of me.

I found that setting up an alarm for an appointment the night before really adds to it. So I do it a week in advance. Then I'll forget about the alarm ⏰

If I do it the night before. I'm lying in bed sleeplessness and looking at the clock. Trying to do the math. "If I fall asleep now, I'll get 6hrs of sleep ." Then it'll turn into "I'll get 4hrs of sleep." Then I'll blackout at and only got about 1:30 to 2hrs of sleep. I'm not in the mood to handle going to an appointment.

Sometimes I'll make myself go with a little help from my DARE app audio lessons and a little worry stone I keep in my pocket. When I realized I made it and I'm okay. I feel a lot better.

Sensations are just sensations and they won't hurt me. Is what I tell myself.

[Agora1]

Hi Augi711 and Welcome!

Anticipatory Anxiety can be worse than anxiety itself. When we anticipate

something, it can go on until the end result is over. With Anxiety there is a

beginning and an end. With anticipation there is a never ending free floating

anxiety wave within us. Along with the physical symptoms comes the negativity

of our thoughts. The "what if's" makes us feel unsettled and stuck in an uncontrollable

cycle.

You may not be able to completely rid yourself of the anxious feelings but the goal is

to go on with your life being #1. If anxiety wants to follow behind you, so be it.

Using Meditation and Breathing daily can reinforce your mental state making it stronger

and harder to penetrate the negative thoughts. Once your positive thoughts take over,

anxiety tends to drown and float away.

This is your life and you deserve the best xx