I think my sister is using me and doesn't value me any more after our parents' problems

[Against_the_current]

So much of my posts how much i love her and worry about her and i think she just sees me as another crazy adult, a burden, totaly inadequate, walking anxiety and ATM. I feel inadequate around my parents because both of them twist reality and i get lost. And my anxiety around them is debilitating. All my efforts when im with my sister and family are in this to not puke, cry and panic and run away. But when im alone im quite a decent person. My sister got the idea she's better than me and better in handling everything than me. She sees me as walking anxiety. And im worried about her hanging out with dad so much. Either dad's manipulating her or mom's unbearable or both. Also spending time with his family can depress her or make her bond to them or both. I hope she just needed his attention and it's neither of neither. I swear im going insane

[SoporRose]

You know how much power your parents have over you, your mood, your outlook. Your sister is living with your mom and I gather sometimes with your dad; she must be having a terrible time knowing what's real and what's true. Keep loving her; she's the member of your family who might be save-able, but probably not until you both get away from your folks.

May I suggest you not be her ATM though? You have enough money issues of your own and if you have any to spare, perhaps it might be better to save up for a new place to live?

You write that "My sister got the idea she's better than me and better in handling everything than me." That might be typical adolescence. Also, "she just sees me as another crazy adult." Teens tend to see most adults as crazy, out-of-touch, and incapable. Honestly, it's kind of fantastic that she sees you as an adult. When you can, casually, without bragging, mention your successes: "I was worried that I wouldn't get my paper for class X finished, but I managed to pull it off and got a good grade." Or "It took me a while to figure out a system to pay my bills, but I finally have that under control." Even "I learned something useful/cool/interesting at my internship today" and then tell her what it was. Maybe even ask her opinion about it. It will probably take some time before she gets used to communications like that, but it might help her see a different side of you.

Of course, you may already be texting her about these parts of your life. The best thing you can do for her and for yourself is to succeed (and *you* get to decide what "succeed" means).

[emmi331]

Do YOU think you're "walking anxiety"?Maybe it's time to have a "trial separation" from your whole family. Don't laugh- many people have done this, and it concluded with a divorce!

As it were. Why keep dealing with toxic people? The same bloodline isn't the only thing that makes a family.

[Midori]

Your sister shouldn't be using you as an ATM. Why can't she get her own money? That's not your role. Try to say No more often,

Cheers, Midori