The struggle of ocd

[Missjab]

hi everyone, it’s been hard today struggling with ocd thoughts and it always gets worse around my period. Like I know these are just thoughts and not actions but it creates so much anxiety that I am literally bothered. Also I never had this problem before in my live, I had a sudden onset of ocd a few months ago and now I am learning how to manage it. Does anyone else relate? I feel so alone in this.

[AnimalLover2023]

My ocd began shortly after the birth of my second child when I was in my early 30’s. I think I was always predisposed. For example, I remember there being two sets of light switches on different walls in my apartment that controlled the same set of lights. I preferred them to all be in the same position per wall. I would make sure when all the lights were off the switches were pointed down on one wall and up on the other. I would even get up sometimes to turn the lights off/on so the switches would be “right.”

I call that predisposed because I could leave my apartment and not think about it again. After my 2nd kid, I had to start taking medication to control it. I got so depressed and felt like a failure because I had a two year old and newborn but I couldn.t keep the house clean enough. My standards had gotten out of control. I would be late to appointments because of packing the diaper bag. I was somewhat stubborn about realizing I needed help. My husband insisted I see a doctor. I soon became thankful for that.

Medicine helps me, but isn’t a cure all. I have to be mindful of it. I literally have to tell myself, “Just stop!” No one is going to suffer an ill fate if I don’t do (fill in the blank). On the bright side at least I don’t get sick very often because of all of the hand washing. And with medicine I do wash my hands way more than the average person there’s no ritual or set number of times I have to do it.

[Missjab in reply to AnimalLover2023]

thank you for sharing I really appreciate it. I can only image how you felt must of been hard. But I am glad you overcame it for the most part. That’s great to hear you are feeling better. I am turning 30 next month and I am thinking this sudden onset of OCD is because of hormone changes. I went through chemo and it was super rough on my body and induced menopause but now my body is trying to bounce back a year later from all of that. But dealing with OCD thoughts suddenly makes me feel like I am going insane… The struggle with this isn’t something I was even prepared for.

[AnimalLover2023 in reply to Missjab]

Keep hanging in there! You’re a fighter to make it through what you have so far.