My mother is bedbound and 74 years old, in critical condition. My mother's power of attorney, who is my half sister, lives 25 minutes away. She is constantly late, or has no shows when she says she's coming over to the house (for baths, dropping off food, petty cash for workers, or to see my mother, etc).
My mother has not eaten in the last 5-6 days, full 3 course meals. She had about 6 table spoons of food (of a variety of food), 3-4 bites of a pancake, and right now, is only having liquids.
The caregivers are 24/7, day and night shifts (Day: 8am-8pm, Night: 8pm to 8am). The lead caregiver who is an Asian male, is here 6x out the week (day shift). During a recent appointment, I noticed that he did not report the full condition of my mother's eating. Yesterday, my mother had a nutritionist call her, and he did not tell her that she has not eaten in the last 5 days, full meals. He only said: "She is only eating liquids." He is under reporting her food intake. This caregiver, I have had problems with, and I have reported it to my older half sister, who has kept the agency, despite me having problems with him (and his co-workers), doing this on purpose to go after me.
What do I do about this. It causes me stress, and anxiety. I do not like the caregivers. They are hostile, passive aggressive, intimidating, etc. There is only me, my mother, and my twin, who live at the house. My 83 year old godfather/step father lives next door in his RV.
The power of attorney, who is my half sister, does not communicate well with me or my twin on purpose to cause stress, anxiety, conflict. She has been combative, difficult, and cruel to me, and my twin. Her and the caregiver have an inappropriate relationship, and they go after the family.
The other day, the lead Asian male caregiver followed my godfather/step father around the house (early morning, 3pm, and then 7pm) and argued with him about being in his boxers around when an Asian female caregiver will be on duty. That Asian female caregiver has had “no shows,” was 55 minutes late 3 nights ago, and has been late on other night shifts. She was suppose to be changed out months ago, requested by my mother. My mother has grown tired and hasn’t made that decision again. In fact, my mother was just taken to the ER this afternoon for “shallow breathing.” This is her 9th ER visit since August. She can barely speak.
The other night, another Asian male caregiver made sure that same Asian female caregiver showed up again, by giving up his night shift so she would show up, just to harass my godfather/stepfather. My godfather/step father said to the lead Asian caregiver, to have the Asian female switched out, changed to another caregiver, a male or another female, ample time before the night shift. He did not.
How do I care for my mother if I am not the power of attorney? How do I get others to know her condition, when the caregiver blocks other workers from knowing her food intake, during appointments? It is a power struggle and a problem. And, what do I do when they intimidate my godfather/stepfather? The nutritionist told the caregiver, "you are not an RN." But, the caregiver has power and control problems. The caregiver agency has been paid $68k in the last 4 months, since October 2022. We have had previous agencies and I did not experience so many problems as I have experienced with the current agency.
I don't like the hostility in the house. I don’t feel comfortable in the house. I don’t like my mother’s “care.”
The last letter I sent my mother, I can’t take anymore 
Trigger Warning ‼️ Depression & Near end of life 
Finding a philosophy that I could relate to...
Help me pls 
