Social anxiety and work

[Loublack]

Iv just started my 3rd job, my first I only lasted a month my second 8 months. The anxiety I feel at work is so overwhelming, I struggle to communicate and can't build relationships with colleagues which then makes it awkward at work which in turn I get emotional and have to fight back tears whilst at work, and then I constantly worry before and after work. Iv started at this new place of which there are only 4 other people, I feel I'm in the way, no one is showing/telling me what needs doing and then when I ask I feel I'm being annoying and pestering. So now I'm getting upset and worrying getting myself all worked up, as I feel it's not going to work out yet again. What can I do? I just have no idea,I don't like being like this it gets me down 😔

[Blueruth]

you are so new to working. It is similar to freshman years in college or high school. Everyone seems to know more. It’s unfamiliar. Nobody ever expects you to know the job when you start not even after years working. After years a new company is STILL new and unfamiliar.

Ask for documentation sources so you don’t have to ask but you still will. A young company like that might not have much so try more encompassing questions like “are there examples I can follow?” In tech you are expected to look online for the answer. Nobody memorizes all the code syntax. Those kinds of things focus your mind and keep you distracted. You can also ask for advice. Ask one to meet with you or go to lunch and ask them how they got up to speed. Do they have advice of where to find answers with self sufficiency. Again the company is small…they could tell you there isn’t much documentation and asking is totally fine. Maybe even offer to work more closely with you.

I work in a small company. The 5th team member struggled with English in addition to adjusting to the company. He also struggled with ego lol. That’s another story. I sat on the phone for an hour at a time helping him learn. He is still learning. I now ask him questions sometimes. I also learned how a newbie sees things and that helps me with other new people. Regularly I’m like “oh, I take that for granted but I had to learn it too! I need to explain that to newbies!” I’ve even joked with the ceo about it. So you see…we are in this together. You aren’t alone.

My last advice is whatever you do don’t cry or look like you will! This is just a job. It isn’t worth being that upset. This is even more important if there are men. Some will see you as weak and stereotypical. Leave. Fake it. Wear a rubber band around your wrist and snap it (it works). You’ll see how fast it will change.

[catsrock]

I wish I had advice as I have the same problems at my job. Just know you are not alone.