I so desperately want to give up

[Gurbfeld]

I just, don’t have it in me at all. There are so many people who may have been in a similar situation who might have had one or several “moments” where they committed to improving themselves and that they’ll do everything in their power to change themselves because the alternative is worse. But I can’t, I just can’t. Even though I go to therapy every week, who’s advice I can’t barely even follow, and workout semi regularly , even that is a challenge, I just do not have the energy or willpower to do anything or to want to improve. I can barely do my laundry and don’t know how to tie my own shoes for fuck’s sake, what hope do I have of finding success, love or happiness in life? I’ve tried to commit to the improvement process with different methods, but I’m too lazy and stupid to ever make it last. I don’t do anything with myself nor am I intelligent or gifted at anything. I just sit at home when im not at work doing basically nothing and letting whatever ounce of talent or potential I might have fade away. In genuinely not good at ANYTHING, never was a bright or gifted child and as an adult i’m utterly talentless and incompetent with no skills or passions to speak of. I just can’t do it, I genuinely just can’t do it. Im not physically impaired or anything like that, I just can’t do it.

[listener24]

Gurbfeld I’ve read your post and felt your desperation one thing I did notice you are gifted at putting into words your inner feelings and your concerns, and that is a massive step forwards .

You need the right help and guidance and a goal which can be as simple as a jigsaw puzzle or a walk around the block it can be anything tiny step forward

You have the world to explore you can do it but slowly

[Junella in reply to listener24]

You express feelings that sound like depression and a lack of confidence in your abilities. It's impossible to not have any gifts or talent even if it's only one. Depression causes one to lose interest in those gifts and deny them because your thoughts are lying to you and bringing on the feelings of worthlessness. The brain is a liar and with practice can be changed. Do some research on the topic. Even if you have to repeat it a thousand times a day, repeating a positive comment about yourself will move you forward. There are many behaviors that can change the thoughts, but you need to care enough to look them up.

I find a spiritual approach helps me. Read positive material. Believe there is an outside force most call God that loves you. He also has an adversary that wants to wear you down. Reject it. Praying for you.

[listener24 in reply to Junella]

your reply was posted to me

[LifeIsThePitts]

YouTube has saved my life. Teachers and scientists and professionals and gurus abound at your fingertips. Dennis Simsek The Anxiety Guy is a fantastic place to start. His teachings were monumental in moving my journey forward. AND...he was once part of this forum!!! Andrew Huberman, neuroscientist, is a wealth of scientific info if you need concrete science to understand what makes your 🧠 brain tick. Gabor Maté is awesome for psychology and understanding the brain and emotional responses to various heath problems.

Today, instead of mindlessly ruminating over your perceived shortcomings...do something out of the ordinary. Step outside of your discomfort routine and pick a 7-8 min video from the anxiety guy on YouTube with a title that speaks to you. There are HUNDREDS of his to choose from. Just start listening 🎧 to one of his messages instead of your own programming. If he doesn't interest you, there are SO MANY teachers to pick from once you start looking that there's definitely someone there that will appeal to your needs.

You will never see results unless you try something. You will be stuck in the same place, repeating the same cycles, which I was very skilled at, as I'd done that to myself for 48 years. I started listening to Dennis Simsek in June, 6 months ago. I've made more progress in that time than I ever thought was possible in my lifetime!! But first, you need to step out of your comfort zone...& when you realize that "suffering" IS that preferred comfort zone, you'll eventually get pissed enough to seek alternatives to your self imposed hell. I finally realized I'd had enough of my own imprisonment and I DESERVE A BETTER LIFE because I'm not victimizing me any longer. I don't have to punish myself for being human.

Try a YouTube search and see what window or door 🪟 🚪 opens...I promise the view is better than what you're used to ❣️❤️‍🩹

[AnxiousSilver]

Obvious question I'd like to ask, "Are you on any meds?"

[Gurbfeld in reply to AnxiousSilver]

yes, add and anti depressants

[Whisko73]

you are very eloquent. Your post speaks volumes to me that’s exactly where I feel I am now. I’ve struggled with depression for half my life and I will be 50 soon. It just seems to take different forms over the decades. I can remember being ur age and I would just be so tearful and crying all the time. The anxiety would manifest into throwing up just a nervous stomach. Now it’s different it’i just feel so alone and scared . But your post seems to target exactly how I feel and knowing that just makes me feel like I’m not losing it and not so alone because others also responded to your post . I know I’m rambling but forgive me this is my first post .

[HoldingonLou]

You do put your feelings into relatable words. Not everyone has that talent!! Have you shared your feelings with whomever is prescribing your meds? Maybe some of your meds need tweaking? I can relate to how you feel tho. I get so bogged down with daily chores & I don't want to look at them. But I still have too. I can go to work. Do the job. and then come back home and turn into a sloth. I learned from that I need structure. Most people with adhd need structure. It's hard when there is no one making you accountable like a job does. It's great you are seeing a therapist? Do you leave with a plan written down for the week? Also awesome you workout. That helps me also. Do you have any spiritual beliefs? I pray and I feel it helps sometimes until my human nature takes over. Life is about continually trying. Don't give up on yourself. Keep at it.