advice please

[FuxkRiley]

so i feel a bit better today, but i’m still in my head a bit. it feels like everytime i try to do something i’m telling myself i’m only doing it to get away from the thoughts but that’s what i want. i find something that will keep my busy and still will overthink about the future or something small, so i can write it down it seems. and maybe it’s a good thing but i feel kinda weird so far writing down my thoughts daily.

[Diamond99]

hello so I do understand how you are feeling a bit I overthink everything and worry about everything I absolutely do things to distract me because it helps me feel so much it’s not wrong or ridiculous it’s ok to distract yourself I usually throw myself into work or watching my nieces and nephews and sometimes just going out of town helps me you are not alone it’s ok to do fun things or calm things if that helps it helps me I am here for you if you need a friend or just someone to talk to

[FuxkRiley in reply to Diamond99]

thank you so much. i really appreciate the insight and reading what u said. i’m trying my best to keep myself busy but i’m always thinking of the future of how it will be. i’m not sure why, but i just have a really hard time staying in the moment.

[Diamond99 in reply to FuxkRiley]

you got this I know it’s tough and can be alot I am here for you

[FuxkRiley in reply to Diamond99]

thank you so much. im happy to read your response and appreciate the hand.

[Roxylox]

I found writing down my thoughts helped me a lot when I was in a bad place. You get used to it.

[Diamond99 in reply to Roxylox]

I do that too and it definitely helps to calm my nerves I also think about something happy and just think that I am at the beach which is my happy place it helps haha

[Roxylox in reply to Diamond99]

The beach is also my happy place

[Diamond99 in reply to Roxylox]

haha 😂 that’s good it’s very calming too

[FuxkRiley]

thank you. and yes it seems to help a little, it just feels weird to think a certain way then trying to put it into words on paper then try to move on. i’ve been doing better throughout the day by it’s still hard to jus my live in the moment

[Roxylox]

Hope things improve for you

[FuxkRiley in reply to Roxylox]

thank you. me too but im trying my best.

[EndUser13]

I find journaling to be really helpful, I can repeat myself as much as I want, whine or vent and it's no one's business. On a lucky occasion you'll get some nice self-reflection that ends up making you a slightly better person for finding that gem.

[FuxkRiley in reply to EndUser13]

yes, im not gonna say it fully helps yet, but it is nice to be able to put my thoughts down and kinda look at them.

[Lve2dance in reply to EndUser13]

Definitely. I journaled even more the start of the pandemic. It definitely helped

[ScooterJoe]

Worrying about the future happens at any age and at every age. And why shouldn't we because we are all concerned about the unknown. So, don't be too critical of yourself for having the future on your mind. What you don't want to do is become obsessive and anxious about something that all of us only have limited control over. Don't let an unknown tomorrow spoil the today that you already have. I know some of the expressions are trite but some so true. Some of those things we dread and spend a good portion of our lives fretting over, when and if they do happen, are nothing like what we have built them up to be. From the time I was younger than 12 years old I worried about my mother dying. Granted she had some health issues but nothing like the mind of a 12 year old imagined. I held that dread inside of me during my teen years, young adulthood and through middle age--so much so that as she and I got older I began to panic when my phone rang or when she didn't answer hers when I called. Mom died 6 years ago when I was 65 and she was 103! She had good health until one month before she peacefully passed away. I think of the many years I wasted, years that could have been more fully lived by myself and more fully enjoyed with her if I had instead taken and lived each day as it came. Think about your future and your past but don't live in either of them. Life is for living today. Try that and I think you'll be ok.

[FuxkRiley in reply to ScooterJoe]

thank you so much for sharing your experience. I also fear that type of stuff but I just try to move past those thoughts as much as I can. The journaling and coming back on here every other hour seems to help. I don't want to rush things but I definitely feel better than this morning, so I just going to have to continue to try and make it the best I can. I'm doing my best to face fears like getting something to eat when I feel hungry and going out in the living room without trying to worrying about not being in my room. Ive done well, I just need to continue to be nice to myself when things don't seem to go my way.

[LAAG]

I think you are doing the right thing. Journaling can help you process your thoughts.

Finding activities to distract your detox is also good. Just make sure you are getting enough rest too and not doing too much.

You can try things like yoga and meditation to distract but also relax you.

[FuxkRiley in reply to LAAG]

thank you. and yes i woke up today feeling super anxious because my stomach hurted really bad. I know I need food and a couple things have seemed to calm me down a little bit. Journaling def helps see what I'm thinking so it's a bit easier to understand how i feel and try to move past it. Still hard today it seems just because eating. Also, ive thought about yoga before, I just don't know where to start or if i need anything, but I also would just like to maybe go to a class if theres one around maybe.

[Dardiz1]

called journaling helps me a little as well as meditation as mindfulness exercise walking music progressive muscle relaxation all under coping skills for GAD

[Babe1213]

Hi FuxkRiley . Good to hear that you have been writing down your thoughts. This kind of therapy really does work well - if you allow it to. I have found through experience - most of our problems with life come from our childhood years, we may have suffered from many different kinds of abuse - sexual, physical, verbal, neglect or so much more. When I was trying to 'clear my head' - many years ago now, I'm almost 75, my facilitator took me back to specific times in childhood where I had felt vulnerable, abused, misunderstood. She suggested it was 'these' thoughts and feelings I needed to work through, and suggested that I write down what I remembered and what I was feeling - at the time of the abuse - , she also suggested that I keep each specific time separate - in order to process and release each one in turn. BOY! was it hard work, exhausting at times and very painful, but I so wanted that healing, I did exactly as I was suggested/advised. I have never looked back from those sessions, nowadays whenever I fell hurt or abused in any way, I deal with it immediately. I do not want to patronise you, but you are such a young man with a whole lifetime ahead of, I so want you to come through this time of trial. You live in a beautiful country with so much to offer in both your working life and social (I live in UK) My prayer for you is that you will take every suggestion - advice - you are given and work on it. Yes it will hurt, but it is said, 'No pain, no gain.' Continue to share your thoughts and feelings with this forum, we are all here routing for you. Anything you feel you can't cope with, put it out for us to share our experiences, at least one other person here will have experienced something similar and will be able to articulate our experience in a way that we offer love, hope, and a future. xx

[FuxkRiley in reply to Babe1213]

thank you so much. I have found posting on here seems to help also because I look for insight from other people, I have really bad self esteem issues, so I think I will post more on here, and yes it's hard for me to do it sometimes, but I know that's what my counselor asked for so I'm go to do my best to just write down my thoughts in there and stay focused on other things. Thank you so much for your support, it means the world to me.

[ScooterJoe in reply to Babe1213]

That was beautiful and insightful. I have loved the time I spend in these conversations. It's like finding a group of best friends that transcends age, gender, color and even continents! Of course being close to your age (I'm 72) I can identify with what you are saying. Your wisdom provides good guidance and gives people like me an 'Amen' moment.

[FuxkRiley in reply to ScooterJoe]

thank you. Im hoping maybe me sharing how its affecting me maybe will influence someone to try it and see if it helps.

[dwhp]

Hi FR, Babe1213 is right. It’s a good thing you’re processing your feelings now at your young age so you don’t put them on hold until they creep up on you. Distracting yourself is a way to protect yourself from being overwhelmed so you can deal with it later. Be sure to set aside time in the future to deal with what’s bothering you so it doesn’t go unnoticed. Wish you all the best on your journey. We’re all here to lift each other up in the way we can! Be well and kick ass!

[FuxkRiley in reply to dwhp]

and that's a problem I definitely will need to fix. I usually get in loops of good thinking and when I get anxiety again I kind of push it away because in that moment I feel good, but once my anxiety is too much and I didn't do anything about it, I come back to a state where I overthink everything and need my parents to help me a lot.

[FuxkRiley in reply to dwhp]

finding a time to try and just think through it is something I need to do for sure and something I will bring up to my counsiler on monday. thank you for your response.

[Babe1213]

Hey Guys - It has been a busy day today, my husband of almost 55 years is severely disabled and I have had to take him for an appointment, just arrived home! Imagine my surprise as I sat at my desk and read through the responses for this 'FuxkRiley' post. It strikes me that there is not a single name on here that I recognize from other posts. I have just sat and prayed about all of you - I hope none of you will be offended with this - I know some people do get offended at prayer, but I am an Anglican Lay Minister - doing God's will! What came to me in this prayer is, the hurts of the 'Spiritual Heart', and how we all need to heal from whatever holds us. From experience I know when I hurt (and feel certain the same can be said of yourselves and many others) I have a tendency to hide that hurt, so many years ago, I built up an (imaginary) brick wall in front of my heart - my logic at the time was to stop any more hurt getting in. Of course what I didn't realise was the wall stopped the hurt inside from getting out. OUCH! When I discovered this truth, I actually had a St Paul episode and my eyes were opened. As I began to take that brick wall down - an experience I likened at the time to the removal of the Berlin Wall - I found my healing, I found my self confidence, I found myself, I found peace, the type of peace that passes all human understanding. This is what I pray and hope for each person who has responded to FR. Don't just find time, take time! First for your healing, stop overthinking, live for today, work with people who love and care for you, but don't allow anyone to pull you away from your goal, don't allow yourself to be distracted, rejoice in all that is beautiful and good, and know that you too, ARE beautiful and good, and as Scooter Joe says, insightful, meditate often using your five senses, sight, hearing, touch, smell, taste, and be glad in them, enjoy your family, especially the younger members who grow up so quickly. Learn how to love yourself, as Jesus loves you. Looking forward to hearing from you! Be blessed. SJ enjoy your Amen moment - so be it! xx

[FuxkRiley in reply to Babe1213]

thank you so much for your time. reading what you have said has definetely helped me get some clarity, and confidence in myself for the day. I've pushed myself a little harder than I usually do just to try and make the situation better, and I felt weird, but I just did my crossword and tried to justifiy why I think the way I do. its hard but again im trying to be nice to myself and rememeber that I'm just going to have these thoughts and that I need to focus on something else.