Bite MY tongue…….OFF!

[Snoflake]

I’m wondering if anyone has ever just held there tongue for so long that suddenly you feel like there is an explosion inside your body then you just go numb to the issue. You know like in a relationship where there is an issue that just cuts you to the core and you have argued and fought until you just started bottling everything up. Then one day the bottle explodes and it feels like another area of your being just went dark?

I don’t know if that makes any sense but those are the best words I have at the moment.

[RupertBrown]

Unfortunately, it makes too much sense to me. Except I don't fight first. I just keep it bottled right from the get-go. I reached a point a few years ago where I had lost my own sense of identity. Didn't even know who I was or what I wanted anymore, was just living to serve the needs of those around me. I've gotten a little better about it lately, but I still have a long way to go! It has been a slow, hard process. Bit I've already started reaping benefits. (I haven't self harmed in almost a year). Sending you peace and courage.

[Snoflake in reply to RupertBrown]

Yes u hear that too! When I was married to an alcoholic I lost my identity as well. I think that is why I fight so hard now because I am deathly afraid of that place! Thank you for your reply 😀

[Hidden]

I can relate to what you’re saying. It’s like you stay quiet to keep the peace. But then you don’t feel like you’re being authentic. You are sacrificing a part of yourself.

[Snoflake in reply to Hidden]

That is a very simple and awesome way to put that! Thank you.

[designguy]

Yes, I was punished and shamed for expressing anger as a kid and for trying to stand up for myself so I hid my true emotions. My brothers and I fought all the time growing up and it has continued into adulthood. I maintained a relationship with them because my mother was still alive but afer she died I finally realized the real dynamics going on. One of my brothers is a narcissist and the other gets his kicks by being a provocateur so I decided it was crazy making to try to have a normal healthy relationship with either one of them so I have quit communicating with them. It's definitely improved my mental health.